Every guild has a history.
Our guild starts with 4 loners got caught up in guild politics. We got hurt, left, and went our own ways for awhile till I got sick of playing with my bean alone. So I turned my personal bank into an official guild.
It was just a few weeks before PoF release, but a year later, we sit on Windswept Haven’s face at level 57.
If some skip getting laid to join a specific guild event, you know how much Intense Pleasure we’re pumping out.
This is going to be slong. If you don’t read and swallow it all, you clearly don’t deserve us. Spitters are quitters >:]
Since a lot of us been switching jobs/moving to different states, we also filtered 1/3 of the inactive, it’s that time to refresh our roster a bit. We’d do that before we filter another 1/3 inactive next month. Because they’ve been gone for months before that, which is far too long by now.
TL;DR make sure that you see Potential Members part below and check out the time table to see if we’re able to play together.
This will not only be a home for me and my homies, but also for filthy casuals and drama free folks alike.
You want to get online and enjoy every kitten perks of the game, minus any sort of drama? You’ve come to the right place.
Why solo when you can have an extra hand for rubbing? Why run with people nagging like your co-workers? Or who treat this like a second job? Why so serious?
Come on, the whole guild thing should be fun, not supposed to be depressing or dramatic. The choice is in your hand. (Prefer a clean one.)
We're on the thick side (mind you ;]), but not overly populated so we have a chance to get to know you from your head to your toe. Mmm.
We have players from Murica, Canada, Aussie, Kiwi, some in Pacific Ocean countries, lurkers from Europe and army folks stationed in hard-to-reach locations.
The fact that people in remote areas try to bypass security and sneak in our Discord voice, plus how many gamer grills we have is a big testament for how fun we are as a guild.
We also make many discoveries that we're proud of, like this.
Our primary goal is to mentor new/returning players and fuel their passion. So they can pick up the pace and get to know each other dirty little secrets better.
This is from one guildie, quoted from our Discord: “i've had the game since early 2013 or 2014 and barely leveled one account to 80 and despite buying HOT on launch i never played it very much at all despite my professed "love" for the game, but once i joined this guild it gave me a reason to play, it reminded me of all the things i had enjoyed and the sense of community that made guild wars 2 special."
Some people found their way to our post on either the reddit or forum. Other than that, we singlehandedly pick our members so we know exactly what we're looking for and the personalities that suit our standards. For that, we barely have any internal problem.
Our motto is play the game, not the meta. Join for the fun, and stay for the pleasure. You’re highly encouraged to run builds that scream your personality instead of everyone running the same boring meta.
We have an absolutely no repping environment because we know people tend to rep a max-level guild to get the benefits. Understandable. We’re getting frisky for awhile now and would love to get to doing 69 soon. We never fail to level up every week, plus with active guild missions, there's no doubt we'd get there soon.
We have members who rep 98% of their other guild(s) but run 87% of their time with us.
Repping a guild to us is to show off which hole you're from, it shouldn't be a dealbreaker. Although we lie a little. You need to rep us during our guild missions, guild events, and especially childbirths so we can receive the credits.
We're working professionals and we understand time is of the essence. Or if you can only play a little naughty every night, you probably don't want to waste it with an unfit group of people. We want to improve ourselves as players but we don't want it to be our second job. We wanna have fun getting it on.
One thing we’ve seen many guilds making mistakes is that there are so many cliques.
People always run together stating "group of friends" then how the heck new people feel they’re a part of? And why did you even recruit when you clearly had no intention to play with them?
We however try very hard to break far from that, and to create an active, welcoming, and chillax environment. Which to us is a very, very difficult task to maintain. Here we have my friends, your friends, and they're getting to know each other to become "our" friends.
If a newbie regarding being shy can jump head first in voice chat, start asking questions, and/or want to run things with others, then you can do it too. You'll feel like home and people here open their arms to you, and help you out with what they know.
If there's any heated moment, we talk it out like grown-ups instead of dropping, playing the cold war game aka no talking, or fueling unnecessary drama due to misunderstandings. We'd rather the people that listen to 2 sides of a coin before making their final decision rather than judging quickly in 2s. And because of this, we barely have any beef between guild mates.
We’ve groomed so many generations of players now, especially social anxiety and loners.
We’re proud to bite them lightly so they could be open to even pugging for group contents.
When they improve and best themselves, they play with other high end guilds now, but still check up on us and see how we're doing. That’s the type of relationship, community we are to uphold on our end of the bargain even if we’re not together anymore. There’s no kitten promise, and, or, but, there’s only hardwork and the result you’ll see as you slowly become a part of (make sure to bring some extra protection and lube if needed).
Guild website is up and running. It's a big, bad, outdated website.
Eventually, we're aspired to make it into one of those so-called Snow Crows but for noobs, casuals, and funsies uptime.
Of course, we will need coders and graphic designers in the future for this little big feature.
Our ancient website hasn't been updated since its release, aka since the guild release. But it has a huge base from all the drop-down menus that we hope you will find useful if you need some quick fixer upper Ctrl+F reference.
It has a lot of DIY contents, so you don’t get lost and drowned like you’d do on the Wiki. Like one of our guild mates said: "dude thisa website is super informative "
We're very passionate lovers when it comes to instanced PvE like fractals.
The scratching, biting, pinching type of passion. It is one of the most rewarding end game contents, and open to those who own none of the expansions to certain levels. Which is why we chose it to be our main PvE focus apart from other PvE open world contents.
Since the guild's establishment, we run fractal training nightly and has trained approximately over 102 people now on different tiers, with pugs and ex guildies included.
We strike to level the majority to tier 4, or at least tier 3. So nobody has to pick up groups. Ever again. Because PUGs can be painful. We actually groom players to tier 3 to make sure they know mechanics, and not play with them once or twice and cast them out like stray dogs like most fractal guilds. Just because you're in a guild with full of fractalers, it doesn't mean 50% of them know what they're doing. No offense though, it's just the truth since I've been there done that.
I personally run fractal trainings, and CM trainings on Sundays.
However, if you have a group of 3-4 players, I could escort you for training runs on most evenings of weekdays (except CMs) around 9-10pm CDT. Other vets also group up with new players from time to time to play together.
Absolutely no experience nor gears required to start doing group contents. And you don’t even have to be level 80 to start training with us. So no excuses!
Do say something in guild chat/Discord before LFG because we want to binge watch with you. We're happy to help/mentor whether it's t1 or t4. That's the point of having guildies, right? Bring in the kitten!
We are chillax sPvPers. Some of us used to be/are in gold/platinum divisions, duo/put up against top 30, or on the sPvP leaderboard ourselves.
Now we mostly play unranked for funsies, especially for daily completion or occasional sPvP guild missions. No salt, just sweetness. One grill even manages to eat chocolate cake in plat rank matches. Smh.
Let's be real, sPvP is only fun with friends even if getting killed and stomped en masse. Just being on voice comm and hear the girls freak out, scream, and laugh are more than enough fun for one night stand.
We also exchange homemade/theory crafting builds on our Discord to expand our knowledge little by little.
We embrace drinking metas/fungeons/raids (Have to adult in order to join. Although it's not always involved drinking).
"Alcoholism not required but strongly encouraged".
We run dungeons because they’re nostalgic. We have cool-headed dungeoneers who can teach you anything you need to know about sex dungeons, and more. We're trying to make kitten dungeons fun dungeons a thing again. Because fungeons are one of the best places to test builds, get rekt, and/or get familiar with a new class before end-game contents ever happen. There are also lots of achieves and achievement points for doing dungeons! Reeeeeee.
They're also free access to people who don't own any expansions. Currently we're running them quite spontaneous but usually on the weekends since people would have more free time to sip on them drinks without passing out at work like I do. Just ask around, see if we can slip something in between the sheets.
We did raid, the choo choo train one boss/week until no one signed up for it anymore due to time commitment and different time zones aren’t helpful.
To us, raids should be a big bad orgy with full of laughters, and trials. No gear check, however, require matching underwear (if you happen to wear them at all).
Off-meta builds are acceptable, as long as you pull the numbers, or at least know which side of your face to smash against the keyboard.
Our stand for raiding is that we're not Gods and can't pull dead weights. We also understand meta is the optimal standard. At the same time, meta shouldn't hinder you from joining or learning the mechanics just because you're new and you don't have a big wallet in-game to afford these fancy panties. We run off-meta from time to time. We're open minded in and outside of the boudoir, are we not? It's just you could get something similar for a lot less and can still play and enjoy the content. We may have performed far better than other training runs, simply because people run on a class they are absolutely in love with.
Now we do late night shenanigan training on Sat night at times. Have yet to spot a good time frame to do them consistently, sadly. But we’d keep on spawning them trainings, just another no good reason for our playerbase to get together when we get a chance.
So right now raiding is happening weekly, but if we don't have enough bodies, or the atmosphere is shifting towards something else, we'd group up and do whatever floats the boat. That and/or depend on 2 of our raid trainers.
Girl missions run on Friday night, starting @9/10pm CDT.
We have 6-13+ volunteers each week and it’s never ded like most guilds. We want to move grill missions to a different night because of WvW reset hours. Although most people just save that time slot to catch up with us, so we keep going on Friday night.
Our girl missions can be activated at any given time, day or night by a lot of members. You don't even have to wait for any officer if you can't join the official run. Just ask around, group up and do some to get your own guild commendations. We tend to run it twice during a week or at least rerun for people so they have credits. Discord is highly required for better team sexicommunication.
We have bring-your-own-booze events every single Saturday night and it's when the Discord is the most crowded night with kitten and giggles. We of course promise you no satisfaction (Since our insurance doesn’t cover for it. Yet. It also varies from individual experiences but the majority came).
So far we've run Dragon's Stand drinking meta, finding Princess, group jumping puzzles, guild races, choo choo slo-mo trains, Becky wanna smash sPvP game night, drunk hardcore Arah. (We have hard proof for Arah but our vid was taken off Twitch cuz recorder wasn't a partner and the vid was on there for awhile. Many oofs. Why don’t you join, get kitten face and record with us then?)
In preparation is the guild karaoke. And in the near future, we'll have guild hide and seek, guild truth or dare, guild card game night, more guild races, etc. With each event, we invent our own rules for peeps to take a shot/sip if they’re drinking.
21+. Yes, our bouncers will ID check you upon joining. And in order to apply for the 'Gamer Grill' tag on Discord, you have to send nudes to Deddy.
We’re not “family friendly” or boarding school vibe guild that you can’t even say a kitten swear word. We're also not an ERP (erotic roleplay) guild as much as our guild tag implies. Don't be too excited.
There’ll be banters, F bomb, C bomb, you name it. We're very classy though, we only drop them on special occasions. Or not.
We just prefer ourselves to be pacifiers and realists. There's no filter around here, at the same time, we're not sailors. So we would somewhat prefer you to not be a bad one. We keep our Discord clean from kitten and too much vulgarity. That’s about it.
We have quite a crowd in their sexy 30s while the rest are 23+, women and men. There’s of course some exceptions for babes in their 19 and 20. Have to get either kissable lips or a spankable derrière.
Anyone at any level new/experienced with some common sense. People who want a no stress zone, and laid back community to casually play some contents together, you are all very welcome.
DO NOT talk about anime. It’ll likely go on for hours and kill phone battery of others.
You'd be encouraged to get on Discord with us. This is very important because we tend to have Discord on while playing, even if we play different games/game contents.
It's ok if you don't have a microphone, or under rl circumstances, you’re not allowed to talk. We will never force you to do anything you're not comfy with. The girls, however, may "sexually" harass you if you don't talk dirty to them (You wish).
You can just listen to us and comment in guild chat, tons of people do that until they feel safe enough to just breathe into the microphone as a form of saying hi. We understand wholeheartedly if your voice may cause certain body reactions and that's what you're afraid of.
Discord just makes training runs/guild missions/most group contents 10 times much smoother with voice comm. And we're here to do group contents, so that's that. Plus, you don't have to type while eating/drinking, do something so dirty we're afraid to mention here while try to do a rotation of 11111111111 at the same time, etc.
It also gives others a chance to get to know you or else we'd just chatting like acquaintances in those 400+ member guilds.
We don't judge a book by its cover and have been recruiting people who just turned into new moms/dads, couples, LGBTQA, etc.
We want our community to be rich with different backgrounds, stories and even accents. Our peeps are mature oriented, at the same time we don't take kitten seriously since this is a game and casual at its best too.
We also group up to play other games, like D3, Smite, BDO, Monster Hunter World at times. But GW2 remains our babe for the rich lore, endless exploration, group events and various activities to do.
There's only one thing to strictly keep in mind is to respect others, regarding of their genders, statuses, races, nationalities, religions, or sexual orientations.
We maybe beautiful for our own good but we don't want to be featured in a soap opera series. For that, we don’t tolerate drama, sexism, harassment, or verbal abuse under any case, especially against our female part of the population, in which we have quite a growing number. Proof!. We're proud to say we have none cat fights since our release and voice chat usually have at least 1-5 grills.
Since work/school gets in the way during the day, we often get online and play after reset
(Reset is 7pm CDT). So we'll want anyone who can fit these bills
* OCX time zones, Aussies: 11:30am – 5:30pm ACST. Kiwis: 3pm – 9pm NZDT. * Around 8-9pm CDT until 2-3am CDT. NA insomniacs, where you at?
Aren't you tired when joining a new guild and get asked to represent them? Like huh? You barely know anybody there. Or if you're a big lurker, and let's face it, you never really run anything with your 400+ member guilds. You're either there for the max guild hall benefits and eventually leave because they’re glorified map chats that you can’t keep up with.
Or end up playing with yourself too often because your smaller guilds are too dang small to satisfy you have anyone to play with. It's just noone is online it seems.
Time to put an end to all that misery, hiding, and lurking. Come out and play, you * censored *. Although our thick, medium size might not reflect anything because we have mems that are inactive. Like we stated, we’d wait for a month before thinning 1/3 of the guild again since they been gone much longer than that. No fret. We have a rich vein of ore you’d want to swing a few times for extra experiences while we wait for more open spots.
We won't ask 100 first date questions when you join/apply.
Consider us an upscale lounge. Come, have a few drinks on the house and get kitten up. Jk.
Hang out and get to know each other better, shall we? That's always a good start.
Ask for an invite and we'd provide one. Ask for any extra service, we will charge depend on the hour. Jk.
Not what you're looking for? Our door is open 24/7. No hard feeling.
We require some common sense, humor, and when it’s needed, you’re not afraid to get down and get dirty.
If you read this far (we secretly hope you do, eggtart), and you've been nodding with a few things being said and soon to be done, that is more than enough to show our chemistry. We hope to expand that chemistry into a beautiful relationship. The deeper the better. (That's what she said.)
If any of the above hits your Gspot, or we sound like your kind of party, whisper in my ear your account name (ex: NUDE.1234), or show off your sexiest character name you've got. Or simply comment here if you're an exhibitionist.
We cannot wait to bend you over, and do all these wonderful things to you that you can't wait to experience yourself. We know you're biting your bottom lip just thinking about our moist offer now.
We wish you an incredible day/night wherever you are.
We also thank you for your precious time to tap into this enormous zone post and consider us. And of course be stupidly brave enough to apply since this is rather an odd recruitment post.
Sometimes people just don't click no matter what. If you pass us by, we wish you nothing but the best of luck in finding your future home. If you have further questions regarding our guild, feel free to shoot them. We'll get to you as soon as we are able to. We're waiting patiently for your reply. Until then