Give me your best (or worst) Guild Wars 2 Puns/Jokes — Guild Wars 2 Forums
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Give me your best (or worst) Guild Wars 2 Puns/Jokes

AegisRunestone.8672AegisRunestone.8672 Member ✭✭✭
edited October 11, 2017 in Guild Wars 2 Discussion

(Note: the first two I post here I saw on map-chat. So, I apologize if I steal the original person's thunder. ^^; )
Which dragon is best with computers?
Tech-quatl

How does Jormag like his tea?
Ice-brewed

What's Primordus' favorite catch-phrase?
Burn, baby, burn!

What's Zhaitan's favorite type of music?
Death Metal

Where does Tyblat go to eat?
Applebees

Kay, I'm done. I've committed some horrible crimes against humanity, now it's your turn! =)

<1

Comments

  • HnRkLnXqZ.1870HnRkLnXqZ.1870 Member ✭✭✭✭
    edited October 11, 2017

    Revah was gathering mah tier 3, all in bris.
    Bane was arround and F'Orrged some brown bearies.
    After her steaks were at Coo fifty, she asked for No Moa!
    A Mordrem Reaver, night approached and killed the bookah.
    Revah within Bane was not an Odgen.
    So she ran for her life, for cotton the mats.
    Back in LA, with no moa'ney or crafts.

  • What do you get if you mix a Sylvari and a Tengu? Chiken salad.

  • AegisRunestone.8672AegisRunestone.8672 Member ✭✭✭
    edited October 11, 2017

    @notebene.3190 said:
    Heard this one a few years back:

    How does Trahearne change a light bulb?

    "Commander, a word."

    I laughed hard at this one. =)

    @Tsakhi.8124 said:
    What are the strong-willed Sylvari to Mordremoth? A thorn in his side.
    What do Elder Dragons do when they need some sunlight? They get a Zhai-tan.
    Why is the Pale Tree so pale? She lives in the sun-blight.
    What Taimi is it? I Canach tell.
    I'd say that Mordremoth is a very shady dragon.
    It's said that Trahearne loves to island crawl. (I love the guy, but every time he says "Crawl Island", I somehow manage to cringe and laugh at the same time.)
    And that's all I have, any rotten produce thrown will be promptly eaten. Thank you. <3

    Oh you. Such good stuff here! :)

    @crazyhusky.2985 said:
    What happened to the Clumsy charr when he fell into the lava pit...

    ...He became CHARR-grilled. ^-^

    Heh heh heh.

    You guys are doing great! Keep it up! ^_^

  • AegisRunestone.8672AegisRunestone.8672 Member ✭✭✭
    edited October 11, 2017

    @Just a flesh wound.3589 said:
    (Old joke from a previous joke thread)

    How many Charr does it take to light a barbecue?
    I don’t know, but there’s a lot of Charr running around with the last name of Burntfur.

    LOL! I love it! XD

  • @Zacchary.6183 said:
    Kormir.
    /10 character limit.

    YOU NEVER HELPED US ANYWAY!

    (I can't NOT see that video anymore)

  • There's some Dad-joke level puns/jokes ITT. XD

    "For the Panini!" // NA (USA)/Ehmry Bay/[EBAY]
    Main characters: Passiflora Dionaea--Lvl 80 Female Sylvari Reaper, Runa Xandrill--Lvl 80 Female Human Dragonhunter

  • I haven't seen this old one come up yet, but i don't remember exactly how it goes, or who first came up with it.

    The commander, Rytlock, and Braham find a new weapon that can save the world, who gets it?
    Trahearne

  • Fenom.9457Fenom.9457 Member ✭✭✭✭

    Zhaitan after seeing the other dragons

    I'd rather keep going.. wherever the wind takes us

  • Ayakaru.6583Ayakaru.6583 Member ✭✭✭✭
    edited October 9, 2017

    How do two Norn wind up a toy?
    One holds the lever, the other drinks till the room spins

    To defeat the dragons, see the good in them.
    Zhaitan reunites lost ones, primordus creates fertile land, mordremoth spreads the green, and jormag..
    ..jormag? Who's that?

  • AegisRunestone.8672AegisRunestone.8672 Member ✭✭✭
    edited October 11, 2017

    @Ayakaru.6583 said:
    How do two Norn wind up a toy?
    One holds the lever, the other drinks till the room spins

    My goodness, that's hilarious. XD

    @Kodiak.4213 said:
    Rytlock's on your ankles: Ryt-socks
    Rytlock and a shield: Ryt-block
    Making fun of Rytlock: Ryt-mock
    Rytlock won't shut up: Ryt-talk
    Rytlock in a dress: Ryt-smock
    Rytlock sticks a claw in the outlet: Ryt-shock
    Rytlock plays guitar: Ryt-rock
    Rytlock goes for a stroll: Ryt-walk
    Rtylock at your door: Ryt-knock

    I'm tired, lol, these are just stupid.

    Stupidly AWESOME. =) Good job, man. :)

  • Jumpin Lumpix.6108Jumpin Lumpix.6108 Member ✭✭✭✭

    WvW

    Lol - I win

  • AegisRunestone.8672AegisRunestone.8672 Member ✭✭✭
    edited October 11, 2017

    @Shirlias.8104 said:

    @notebene.3190 said:
    Heard this one a few years back:

    How does Trahearne change a light bulb?

    "Commander, a word."

    We have a winner.

    That one IS really good. XD

  • MidnightX.6294MidnightX.6294 Member ✭✭✭

    A Norn leaving a bar.

    An unattractive Mesmer.

    A fight with Thrahearne at your side, that ends well.

    A sober Norn.

    Nothing to see here - move along.

  • AegisRunestone.8672AegisRunestone.8672 Member ✭✭✭
    edited October 11, 2017

    One of my favorites is in the Rata Sum dungeons. Apparently (this was before HoT), around 2014, people figured out you could get jailed in Rata Sum for trying to jump off the edge of the city.

    We had a lot of prisoners in Rata Sum that day. XD (Including myself)

    One guy (a charr IIRC) said: "It's not so bad. They gave us cookies, and there's free Wi-Fi! It's great!" I took a screenshot of that. Best day ever. =)

  • What is an Iron Legion's favorite alcoholic beverage?

    Charr-donay.

    "Beware those who would deny you access to information, for in his heart he dreams himself your master."
    Tempest, Spellbreaker, Mirage, Scourge
    [AGNY] - Eternal Agony Guild, Sanctum of Rall

  • Kodiak.4213Kodiak.4213 Member ✭✭✭

    @AegisRunestone.8672 said:
    One of my favorites is in the Rata Sum dungeons. Apparently (this was before HoT), around 2014, people figured out you could get jailed in Rata Sum for trying to jump off the edge of the city.

    We had a lot of prisoners in Rata Sum that day. XD (Including myself)

    One guy (a charr IIRC) said: "It's not so bad. They gave us cookies, and there's free Wi-Fi! It's great!" I took a screenshot of that. Best day ever. =)


    The Assassin of Rata Sum
    Proud Member of Wards of the Mists [WARD]

    I may or may not have been part of that - at least I remember cookies and Wi-Fi being discussed, :bleep_bloop:

  • AegisRunestone.8672AegisRunestone.8672 Member ✭✭✭
    edited October 11, 2017

    @Kodiak.4213 said:

    @AegisRunestone.8672 said:
    One of my favorites is in the Rata Sum dungeons. Apparently (this was before HoT), around 2014, people figured out you could get jailed in Rata Sum for trying to jump off the edge of the city.

    We had a lot of prisoners in Rata Sum that day. XD (Including myself)

    One guy (a charr IIRC) said: "It's not so bad. They gave us cookies, and there's free Wi-Fi! It's great!" I took a screenshot of that. Best day ever. =)

    I may or may not have been part of that - at least I remember cookies and Wi-Fi being discussed, :bleep_bloop:

    Nice. Did you see an asura thief in full sneakthief (save hood) in blue/light green named "Vini Yunio"? If so, that was me. :p

  • What did the Spooky Raptor say to the Normal Raptor?

    "I forgot which channel my Pumpkin color is on."

  • Yo mama so fat she can cap Stonemist from Overlook.

  • Oenanthe.6549Oenanthe.6549 Member ✭✭✭

    Rehashing another old one.

    The norn were gathered to remember those that had fallen to Mordremoth. It was a case of Eir today, Garm tomorrow.

  • Ayakaru.6583Ayakaru.6583 Member ✭✭✭✭

    @penelopehannibal.8947 said:
    Which race invented perfume?
    The Scent-aurs.

    << didnt know a pun could physically hurt.

    1: Phooboo is sad.. Phooboo failed again..
    2: Phooboo, what have I been telling you?
    1: .. I'm quaggan.. not quaggan't

    To defeat the dragons, see the good in them.
    Zhaitan reunites lost ones, primordus creates fertile land, mordremoth spreads the green, and jormag..
    ..jormag? Who's that?

  • TEKnowledgy.1760TEKnowledgy.1760 Member ✭✭✭
    edited October 19, 2017

    Why do charrs have such big rumps?
    They was born in Ascalon

    i know that probably sucked but puns arent my forte i just like straight insults lmao.

    But my fav pun or joke w/e wanna call it. Is that charr in silverwastes call sylvarie talking cabbages and asura mice.
    Every time i go there i like to wait for him to talk that smack. I always giggle genius anet just genius.
    I liked talking cabbage so much tried make my guardian named that.
    Unfortunately, someone beat me to it who ever you are i love and respect you deeply.

    Tarnished Coast resident for 6 years. Teknowledgy/Engineer, Teknowledge/Ranger, Warlord Of Ascalon/Warrior, Massari Kundalini/Revenant, Semmi Ghostep/Thief, Lord of Deth/Necromancer, Beasty Cabbage/Guardian, Mesmarista/Mesmer, Lei Moon/Elementalist, Guild: Legion of Deth (DETH)