Give me your best (or worst) Guild Wars 2 Puns/Jokes - Page 2 — Guild Wars 2 Forums
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Give me your best (or worst) Guild Wars 2 Puns/Jokes

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  • Just a flesh wound.3589Just a flesh wound.3589 Member ✭✭✭✭
    edited October 19, 2017

    @TEKnowledgy.1760 said:
    Why do charrs have such big rumps?
    They was born in Ascalon

    i know that probably sucked but puns arent my forte i just like straight insults lmao.

    But my fav pun or joke w/e wanna call it. Is that charr in silverwastes call sylvarie talking cabbages and asura mice.
    Every time i go there i like to wait for him to talk that smack. I always giggle genius anet just genius.
    I liked talking cabbage so much tried make my guardian named that.
    Unfortunately, someone beat me to it who ever you are i love and respect you deeply.

    Could name your Guardian: Smack Talk Cabbage.

    Be careful what you ask for
    ANet might give it to you.

    Forum Guides: Images. Text

  • TEKnowledgy.1760TEKnowledgy.1760 Member ✭✭✭
    edited October 19, 2017

    @Just a flesh wound.3589 said:

    @TEKnowledgy.1760 said:
    Why do charrs have such big rumps?
    They was born in Ascalon

    i know that probably sucked but puns arent my forte i just like straight insults lmao.

    But my fav pun or joke w/e wanna call it. Is that charr in silverwastes call sylvarie talking cabbages and asura mice.
    Every time i go there i like to wait for him to talk that smack. I always giggle genius anet just genius.
    I liked talking cabbage so much tried make my guardian named that.
    Unfortunately, someone beat me to it who ever you are i love and respect you deeply.

    Could name your Guardian: Smack Talk Cabbage.

    naw not just as funny or apealing in my opinion though witty probably taken anyways. I'm happy someone got Talking Cabbage it was a name well worth making.

    I named him Beasty Cabbage kinda to be funny maybe in tribute to the cabbage title/pun

    Tarnished Coast resident for 6 years. Teknowledgy/Engineer, Teknowledge/Ranger, Warlord Of Ascalon/Warrior, Massari Kundalini/Revenant, Semmi Ghostep/Thief, Lord of Deth/Necromancer, Beasty Cabbage/Guardian, Mesmarista/Mesmer, Lei Moon/Elementalist, Guild: Legion of Deth (DETH)

  • Best joke? Dungeons.

  • K THEN.5162K THEN.5162 Member ✭✭✭
    edited October 19, 2017

    More of a pick-up line but
    Dang are you a burn guard? Cause I'm going to need some condi clear to cleanse how hot you are ;)

    WHAT?!? Did you expect something special would be written here

  • What is an Elementalist who has no power left in their Water Attunement?

    Dehydrated.

  • What warning do you give a Weaver who attunes to water and air?

    "Don't cross the streams."

  • More! More jokes! Apple cider on me!

  • @Rauderi.8706 said:
    I get the feeling Sylvari might have had an easier time with Mordremoth if the Pact had an expert in psychia-tree.

    :+1:

    Indeed, therapy was required, otherwise too many Pact members were barking up the wrong tree.

  • Nilson.9865Nilson.9865 Member ✭✭✭

    How do you call piece of wood that quickly rolls down hill??
    LOGan

  • zealex.9410zealex.9410 Member ✭✭✭✭

    "Everyone, pun"

  • Nilson.9865Nilson.9865 Member ✭✭✭

    What sound does Kasmeer make when she plays with flute?
    D major chord

  • Nilson.9865Nilson.9865 Member ✭✭✭

    How do you call one thousand centaurs in old Krytan?
    LE-TZERG

  • There's only one thing more jaded than the luxon sea: Anyone who frequents the forums long enough

  • @notebene.3190 said:
    Heard this one a few years back:

    How does Trahearne change a light bulb?

    "Commander, a word."

    @zealex.9410 said:
    "Everyone, pun"

    "More pun, yes!?!"

  • @Lucipher.3014 said:

    @notebene.3190 said:
    Heard this one a few years back:

    How does Trahearne change a light bulb?

    "Commander, a word."

    @zealex.9410 said:
    "Everyone, pun"

    "More pun, yes!?!"

    Oops, responded to the wrong post

  • @zealex.9410 said:
    "Everyone, pun"

    "More pun, yes??!"

  • What did the necromancer say when someone challenged him to a fight?
    "Sure, but I have some conditions."

    What is an elementalist doing when he's insulting you?
    flaming

    A norn staggers into a bar...

    What did the norn say to the asura?
    Nothing, since he couldn't see her

  • your local necromancer, doing their job to continue this amazing thread 3 years later.

  • What's up with asuran architecture?
    It's non of your bismuth.

  • Can you believe we've been dealing with Elder Dragons for more than 8 years?
    Yeah, it does seem to drag-on a bit.

  • ↑ Don't worry though, I hear the next expansion is the End of Drag-ons!

  • phokus.8934phokus.8934 Member ✭✭✭✭

    These are the worst jokos I’ve ever read.

  • Westenev.5289Westenev.5289 Member ✭✭✭✭
    edited November 22, 2020

    A Sylvari finds a mordrem and a nightmare courtier nestled in a tree. The sylvari asks, "how does it feel to commit high treesome?"

    What do you call a Sylvari lumberjack? Treeson.

    What do you call a Sylvari who has been stabbed in the back? Caesar salad.

    What do you call an asura in berserkers armour? A dps meter.

    What's a norn's favorite drink? The next one!

    Why do Spellbreakers make great bartenders? Because they always stock a full counter!

    How does Pact Marshal Traehearne like his steak? Well done, commander!

    Why did the white mantle start the krytan civil war? I hear it was all a ploy to steal [Thackeray's Pants]!
    https://wiki.guildwars2.com/wiki/Thackeray's_Pants

  • sorudo.9054sorudo.9054 Member ✭✭✭✭

    did you know the oldest cookie in tyria isan orrio?
    it was so good, they dipped it in the sea to make it extra salty.
    sadly, the only place you can get it now is in raids.

    the truth is harsh, my opinions are too.

  • Dayra.7405Dayra.7405 Member ✭✭✭✭
    edited November 22, 2020

    My favoured jokes in the old forum: https://forum-en.gw2archive.eu/forum/game/wuv/Only-a-WvW-player

    Some of mine there:
    Only a WvW player shoot at the door, if someone is knocking.
    Only a WvW player attacks the own door to protect it.

    Only a WvW-players obituary contains: His last words was “wwww111111111166666 sh** laag”

    After we got the Dolyak-Mini:
    Only a real WvW-player is happy now, that he has it’s own Doylak to protect.

    Skill-laags:
    Only a WvW player knows how to get most of skill 1.
    Only a WvW player starts charging skill one if he see an enemy blob at the horizon.

    Intro of Mega-Server in PvE:
    Only a WvW-player wonders why he isn’t in Lion Arch anymore when he logs in.
    Only a WvW-player wonders, why the hell do the people in his home town now chat in a foreign language.
    Only a WvW-player is surprised that an enemy he partied on the battle field now stand beside him in his home-town.
    Only a WvW-player ask himself after this happened, if his team is now that bad, that the enemies even invaded his hometown.
    Only a WvW wonders what he is fighting for anymore, after an passing-by explained him that his home-world got merged together with all his enemies into the united nations of the mega-server.

    From the time when this forum had matchup threads
    Only WvW-Newbies believe that wars are decided on the battlefield.
    The real WvW-profi knows that the propaganda-warface in the forum decides matches.

    At a time where release notes still contained a WvW-Section
    Only a WvW player knows already, that playing is seriously restricted for two days after every patch.
    Only a WvW player cannot decide if he should await or fear the next patch.

    Before culling was fixed
    Only a WvW-player feels not alone, if their screen shows only enemies.
    Only a Wvw-player feels to be in danger, if their screen shows only friends.
    Only WvW-player are doing AoE to areas with piles of already dead.
    Only WvW-player aren’t wondering that the pile of deads is AoEing back.

  • A Sylvari walks into a bar. The barkeeper yells to him: "hey! Get out! We don't serve your kind! What do you think this is?? A Salad bar?!"

  • Dayra.7405Dayra.7405 Member ✭✭✭✭
    edited November 23, 2020

    Why do Charr love Asura GS-Warrior?

    A crispy snack with tooth-cleaner