Hello there brave one. You’ve found the hallowed halls of the Church of Bliss. You may be asking yourself what are our belief patterns? Can you swirl them around on a beach in the shape of a giant device that applies itself to the passionate needs of others? Yes. Yes you can. With us you can do anything. Believe in a new God. Develop your own internal Goddess. With our simple tips on life you too can become your true self in this modern age. For the small price of five silver a month…oh wait. I got my scripts messed up. That is the business proposal! My bad. Here we go…
Have you been looking for a group of individuals who are naughty despite their best efforts to manifest as gamers who fly by the cover of darkness? You’ve come to the right place. For I trust that we can mutually benefit from the following qualities: Love, death, aggression, amazing amounts of loot and some fantastic opportunities to manage inventory together.
Here at the Church we believe in hanging out, having a good time with friends plus once in awhile appearing like we know what we are doing. Which I definitely do not.
Some of our major accomplishments in this season of feasting and merriment:
1. Roasting some nuts nearby an open flame which then resulted in our guild leader losing all hair. Though it has been proven he is the hair club president by proxy, doxy and prang, we still haven't located out dental hygienist.
2. Being singularly so focused on shiny things that we have subsequently failed to ever leave Lion’s Arch other than the time it was destroyed. On that day we went to Denny’s. You may ask me what that is considering that Tyria clearly doesn’t have family sit down restaurants…except you are wrong. It is behind the player housing area.
3. Through the power of song and dance we defeated our first raid battle even though that may have looked suspiciously like breaking the luggage lock someone put on my adult toy drawer.
4. Unearthed our collection of Garbage Pail Kids only to find that they weren’t as humorous as we remembered. They were even better.
5. Hid inside the last remaining Blockbuster watching their last copy of Biodome.
6. Stopped reading patch notes and haven’t noticed any change in our performance. Mind you, we somehow tied the record for the longest time ever noted to get out of the spawn area in EBG. (Slightly over seven years even though our characters are definitely still in Beta testing)
7. It was in fact determined we needed more fish sticks. Please see me personally if you understand this joke.
8. I’m convinced that one of our members is a yeti and I need assistance in ferreting that out.
9. What is love?
10. Stealing fun, tying it down to the hood of our Pinto and squealing through the mean city streets.
Currently we are building our fan base back up from scratch. That Nicholas kind. Open world, achievements, conversation, farming....let us know how we can help. Or tell us how we disappointed you gravely one time at the holidays. I know I don't forgive myself either.
If any of this sounds vaguely intriguing, should you want to profess your undying love or if in general you want to stand near us because our fashion looks superb please find us at the links below:
Our loving crafted Discord: https://discord.gg/SwBRfrt
In game mavens of mayhem: Fatherbliss.4701, Lorthrean.7418 and Araphelbliss.4016
Guild leader for Goats of Thunder. No pants allowed.