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Give me your best (or worst) Guild Wars 2 Puns/Jokes


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A Sylvari finds a mordrem and a nightmare courtier nestled in a tree. The sylvari asks, "how does it feel to commit high treesome?"

What do you call a Sylvari lumberjack? Treeson.

What do you call a Sylvari who has been stabbed in the back? Caesar salad.

What do you call an asura in berserkers armour? A dps meter.

What's a norn's favorite drink? The next one!

Why do Spellbreakers make great bartenders? Because they always stock a full counter!

How does Pact Marshal Traehearne like his steak? Well done, commander!

Why did the white mantle start the krytan civil war? I hear it was all a ploy to steal [Thackeray's Pants]!https://wiki.guildwars2.com/wiki/Thackeray's_Pants

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My favoured jokes in the old forum: https://forum-en.gw2archive.eu/forum/game/wuv/Only-a-WvW-player

Some of mine there:Only a WvW player shoot at the door, if someone is knocking.Only a WvW player attacks the own door to protect it.

Only a WvW-players obituary contains: His last words was “wwww111111111166666 sh** laag”

After we got the Dolyak-Mini:
Only a real WvW-player is happy now, that he has it’s own Doylak to protect.

Skill-laags:Only a WvW player knows how to get most of skill 1.Only a WvW player starts charging skill one if he see an enemy blob at the horizon.

Intro of Mega-Server in PvE:Only a WvW-player wonders why he isn’t in Lion Arch anymore when he logs in.Only a WvW-player wonders, why the hell do the people in his home town now chat in a foreign language.Only a WvW-player is surprised that an enemy he partied on the battle field now stand beside him in his home-town.Only a WvW-player ask himself after this happened, if his team is now that bad, that the enemies even invaded his hometown.Only a WvW wonders what he is fighting for anymore, after an passing-by explained him that his home-world got merged together with all his enemies into the united nations of the mega-server.

From the time when this forum had matchup threadsOnly WvW-Newbies believe that wars are decided on the battlefield.The real WvW-profi knows that the propaganda-warface in the forum decides matches.

At a time where release notes still contained a WvW-SectionOnly a WvW player knows already, that playing is seriously restricted for two days after every patch.Only a WvW player cannot decide if he should await or fear the next patch.

Before culling was fixedOnly a WvW-player feels not alone, if their screen shows only enemies.Only a Wvw-player feels to be in danger, if their screen shows only friends.Only WvW-player are doing AoE to areas with piles of already dead.Only WvW-player aren’t wondering that the pile of deads is AoEing back.

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