Every guild has a history. Avoid watching videos if you're eating/drinking. You're welcome.
Our guild started with 4 loners doing drunk Dragon's Stand, got caught up in guild politics. We got hurt, left, then went our own ways till I got sick of flicking my bean alone. So I turned my personal bank into this mess.
It was just a few weeks before PoF release, but a year later, we climaxed at level 69 and located at Windswept Haven.
If some skip getting laid to join a specific guild event, you know how much Intense Pleasure we’re pumping.
(Spoiler alert! He still got laid after we discussed all the possible excuses. Win win~).
This post gonna be slong. If you don’t read and swallow it all, you clearly don’t deserve us cuz spitters are quitters >:]
Since we've been switching jobs/moving to different states/games, we also have 1/3 inactive, it’s that time to refresh our roster with fresh meat. We tend to keep our medium girth for ultimate satisfaction without any complication. Size matters sometimes.
TL;DR skim through bold texts for our main info. Requirements for Potential Members and time table below.
The guild will not only be a home for me and my homies, but also for filthy casuals and drama free folks.
You want to get online and enjoy every kitten pecks of the game, minus drama? You’ve come to the right place, my friend.
Why solo when you can have an extra hand for rubbing? Why run with people nagging like your co-workers? Or who treat this like a job? Why so serious?
Come on now. The whole guild thing should be fun! The choice is in your hand. (Prefer a clean one)
We're on the thick side, but not overly populated so we have a chance to get to know you from your head to your toe. Mmm
We have players from Murica, Snow Mexican, Kiwi, Downlander, some in Pacific Ocean, lurkers from Europe, etc.
The fact that people in remote areas try to bypass security to sneak in our Discord while at work; plus, how many gamer gorls we have are big testaments for how fun we are as a guild. We want to revive that feeling every time we post our recruitment.
We also make many discoveries that we're proud of. Like this.
Our primary goal is to mentor new/returning players and fuel their passion. So they can pick up the pace while get to know each other dirty little secrets better.
This is from one guildie, quoted from our Discord: “i've had the game since early 2013 or 2014 and barely leveled one account to 80 and despite buying HOT on launch i never played it very much at all despite my professed "love" for the game, but once i joined this guild it gave me a reason to play, it reminded me of all the things i had enjoyed and the sense of community that made guild wars 2 special."
Some people found their unlucky way to our post on either reddit or gw2 forum. Other than that, we singlehandedly pick our members. So we know exactly what we're looking for and the personalities that suit our lewd standards.
Our motto is play the game, not the meta. Join for the fun, and stay for the pleasure.
You’re highly encouraged to run builds that scream your personality, but also work well in a grouping environment.
We have an absolutely no repping environment.
We have members who rep 98% of their other guild(s) cuz they have to, or get kicked. But they run 87% of their time with us, in-game and Discord.
Repping a guild to us is to show off which hole you're from, it shouldn't be a dealbreaker.
Although, we lie a little. We'd appreciated if you rep in guild events so we can round up the numbers. And do rep us during childbirths so we can receive the credits. Lots of swimming right there
We're working professionals, scientists, doctors, nurses, drug dealers, strippers, etc. We understand time is of the essence.
Or if you can only play a little naughty every night, you probably don't want to waste time with an unfit group of people.
Or worse, end up stressing out in a toxic environment.
This is a game.
We want to improve ourselves as players but we don't want it to be our second job.
Let's have fun getting it on!
If there's any heated moment, we talk it out like grown-ups. We refuse to play the cold-war game (aka no talking). Cuz it'll only fuel unnecessary drama due to misunderstandings.
We’ve groomed so many generations of players, especially social anxiety folks and loners.
We’re proud to bite them lightly, so they could be open to pugging for group contents and genuinely get better IRL.
When they best themselves, they venture to high-end guilds, but still check up on us on a blue moon. That’s the type of community we try to uphold.
Got a guild website. It's a big, bad, outdated one.
Eventually, we're aspired to make it into the like of Snow Crows, but only for casuals, nubs, and funsies uptime.
Our ancient site hasn't been touched since the guild release and would need a lawnmower.
But it has huge base info from drop-down menus. We hope new players find it useful when starting out. Things you can focus on a specific part of the game. Wikipedia can be a pain to navigate.
One of our guild mates comments: "dude thisa website is super informative "
We're passionate lovers when it comes to fractals.
The scratching, biting, pinching type of passion. It is one of the most rewarding end-game contents, and open to those who own none of the expansions to certain levels. And doesn't need to spend time organizing like raids.
Hence we choose it to be our main PvE focus. It promotes team play and helps us grow closer.
Since the guild's establishment, we run fractal training almost nightly, and has trained approximately over 127 people now on different tiers, with pugs and ex-guildies included. Not big of a number but it's honest work.
We strike to level the majority to at least tier 3 fractals. So nobody has to pick up groups. Ever again.
I personally run fractal CMs train on Sundays.
However, if you have a group of 2-4 players, I would escort you for tier 1 trainings. On most eve of weekdays around 8-9pm CST.
Other vets also group up with new players from time to time. Please don't be afraid to ask~
Absolutely no experience, nor gears required to start doing fractals. You don’t even have to be level 80!
Do say something in guild chat/Discord before LFG because we want to run with you. Together.
That's the point of having guildies, right?
Bring in the kitten!
First day of Slippery Slope instability. 100CM! Omegalul
We are chillax sPvP players
A lot of us are in gold/platinum divisions, duo/put up against top 30, or on the leaderboard ourselves.
Now we mostly play unranked for funsies, especially for daily completion, or occasional sPvP guild missions.
sPvP is only fun when play with friends, even if getting killed and stomped en masse.
Hey, it's a game, gotta laugh at ourselves on voice comm. Or hear the girls freak out and scream cuz they get jumped at. Definitely more fun than a doctor can prescribe for your heart.
If you'd like some good ol matches, or love build crafting, you know where to find us.
We also exchange homemade builds that are so scary none dares to try.
Girl finally learns to take "intense pleasure" phone capture without the flare
We embrace drinking metas/fungeons/raids (Have to adult in order to join. Although it's not always involved drinking)
"Alcoholism not required but strongly encouraged".
We run dungeons because they’re nostalgic af. Just kidding.
We have dungeoneers who can teach you anything you need to know about sex dungeons, dragons, and more. We're trying to make kitten dungeons fun dungeons a thing again. Because fungeons are one of the best places to test builds, get rekt, or get familiar with a new class. There are lots of achieves and achieve points for doing dungeons too! And map breaking.
They're also free access to people who don't own any expansions. Currently we're running them quite spontaneous but usually on the weekends.
Here's our take on a drunk dungeon tour.
To us, raiding should be a big bad orgy with full of laughters.
No gear check; however, require matching underwear. (If you happen to wear them at all)
Off-meta builds are acceptable, as long as you do your homework and pull the numbers. Or at least know which side of your face to smash against the keyboard.
Our stand for raid is simple. 2 things.
One. We're not Gods and can't pull dead weights.
Two. Meta is the optimal standard, but it shouldn't hinder you from joining/learning mechanics.
Therefore you can run any class you have your eyes on. We'd help with build crafting so you will love what you run and it makes learning a breeze.
Even if you're new, and you don't have a big wallet in-game to afford these fancy panties, you can still enjoy the contents.
Now we do late night shenanigan training on Fri/Sat night. Although we try to run our train often during weekdays around 8-9pm CST.
One of our first music trains~
Typical girl missions run on Friday night, starting @8-9pm CST, before any raids.
We want to move guild missions to a different night cuz it overlaps WvW reset hours. But most peeps just save that time slot to catch up with us, so we keep going on Friday night.
Since we max out the guild hall, we tend to dedicate that time into training raids, or doing various group contents like meta events, achieve hunting, etc.
But our missions can be activated at any time, by a lot of members. You don't have to wait for any officer, just ask around and group together.
Guild commendations generated from missions are great to get early-game ascended trinkets.
Discord is highly recommended for team sexicommunication and explanation.
We have bring-your-own-booze events on Saturday nights. Like dis.
It's when Discord is crowded with kitten and giggles. We promise no satisfaction since our insurance hasn't covered for that part. Yet. But you'd save 15% or more on car insurance if you switch to us. And sometimes we do need professional help..
So far we've run Dragon's Stand drinking meta, finding Princess, group jumping puzzles, guild races, slo-mo hp trains, Becky wanna smash sPvP night, gambling dates, drunk Arah, card against humanity nights out, secret Santa.
In the future, we hope to incorporate guild hide and seek, guild truth or dare, guild karaoke, guild movie night, etc.
We currently try to get guild dungeons and dragons going.
With each event, we try to invent our own rules to take shots/sips if you're drinking. Or just something to have a laugh at. You can join drinking juices/milk/water/me. No drinkingcism at all.
We had 2 meet-ups IRL and we keep telling each other if this kitten is still up in the next 5 years, we'll make it in Vegas!
21+. Our bouncers will ID check you upon joining.
And in order to apply for the 'Gamer Grill' tag on Discord, you have to send nudes to Deddy.
We’re not quite je ne sais quoi “family friendly” that you can’t even say a kitten swear word.
We're also not an ERP (erotic roleplay) guild as much as our guild tag implies. Sad, isn't it?
There’ll be banters, F bomb, C bomb, you name it. We're very classy though, we only drop them on special occasions. Or not.
There's no filter around here. At the same time, we're not bad sailors. We would somewhat prefer you to not be a very bad one.
We keep our Discord clean from kitten and too much vulgarity so it's totally safe for work.
We have quite a crowd in their sexy 30s while the rest are 23+, women and men.
There’s some exceptions for 19 and 20. But, they have to possess either kissable lips or a spankable derrière. Mmm.
We pick a mature crowd so we could hold a decent, rather spicy conversation. Plus, it won't make you feel out of place in a bunch of teenagers when you're sexy and you know it.
Anyone at any level, new/experienced, with some unholy common sense.
Who want a no stress zone, and a laid back community to play contents together, you are all very welcome.
DO NOT talk about anime. It’ll likely go on for hours and kill your phone battery. Be warn the nerds.
You're highly encouraged to get on Discord with us. This is quite important.
We tend to have Discord toggled on while playing. You don't have to join voice chat, just have to be active on Discord text chat.
Even if we play different games/game contents. It makes MMO an MMO with communication, does it not?
Discord remains our source of interaction during the day when we're at work doing NSFW stuff. That's the only way to get to know you before we could group up at night, if any.
By that, we didn't mean the same group of people get on voice chat and just talk about themselves. Nuh uh.
It's a whole community use it, either text or voice chat. It's still a mean of communication. It'll give you that community feel, somewhere you belong to, people welcome you after that long day at work, etc.
It's ok if you don't have a microphone, or under IRL circumstances you cannot talk.
We will never force you to do anything you're not comfy with.
The ability to listen is a must. Sometimes.
Discord just makes training runs/guild missions/most group contents 10 times smoother. And we're here to do group contents, right?
We understand wholeheartedly if your voice may cause certain body reactions to us and that's what you're afraid of.
Fear Not This Night and let your voice kitten be heard!
Or if you're muted, you can still use Discord to hear us and reply through in-game text chat.
It will give us a chance to get to know you better.
We don't judge a book by its cover and have been recruiting people who just turned into new mums/dads, LGBTQA, couples, special needs, etc.
We'd treat you with respect and we'd want the same in return. One for all and all for one vibe.
We want our community to be rich with different backgrounds, stories and even accents.
Our peeps are mature oriented, at the same time we don't take kitten seriously. This is a game and casual at its best too.
We group up to play other games, like D3, Smite, Overwatch, Monster Hunter World, Tom Clancy's The Division 2, etc.
But GW2 remains our go-to for the rich lore since GW1, endless exploration, and group events never get old.
And because of its casual nature, GW2 is very good to play with friends, de-stress after work/after kids going to bed, and just overall having fun.
There's only one thing to strictly keep in mind is to respect others, regarding of their genders, statuses, races, nationalities, religions, or sexual orientations.
We maybe beautiful for our own good but we don't want to be featured in a soap opera series.
For that, we don’t tolerate drama, sexism, harassment, or verbal abuse under any case, especially against our female part of the population, in which we have quite a growing number.
Ooh and no elitism. If it makes your kitten appear 1.5 times bigger to always be right and look down to someone else, you're in the wrong neighborhood yo.
Since work/school/quickie gets in the way during the day, we often get online and play after reset.
(Reset time is 6pm CST now)
So we'll want anyone who can fit these bills:
* OCX time. Aussies: 11:30am – 5:30pm ACST | Kiwis: 3pm – 9pm NZDT. * NA time. 8-9pm CST until 2-3am CST | Or 6-7pm PST to 12-1am PST. NA insomniacs, where ya at?
Aren't you tired when joining a new guild and get asked to represent them? Like what? You barely know anybody there.
If you're a big lurker, and let's be real, you never really run anything with your 400+ member guilds.
You're there for the max guild hall benefits and have bodies to do group hugs. Eventually, you'll leave because they’re glorified map chats that your chatbox can’t keep up with.
Or end up playing with yourself too often because your smaller guilds are too dang small to satisfy you have anyone to play with.
Smaller guilds have fewer online folks. It makes you feel like playing solo. There's noone online when you do.
Know those feelings quite well, don't you?
Time to put an end to all that misery, hiding, and lurking. Come out and play, you * censored *.
Although, our thick, medium size might not reflect anything because we have members who are inactive for a millennia. We don't have a heart to kick them. Yet.
We got a rich vein of ore you’d love to swing a few times for extra experiences if our offer is not moist enough already.
We won't ask 100 first-date questions when you apply to join.
Consider us an upscale lounge. Come, have a few drinks on the house and get to know each other better, shall we?
Ask for an invite, we'd provide one.
Ask for any extra services, we will charge upon the hour. Jk.
Not what you're looking for? Our door is open 24/7. No hard feeling.
We require some common sense, humor is a plus. When it’s needed, you’re not afraid to get down and get dirty. Ooh baby.
We have fun in the alloted time while trying our best for the team/the guild. That's the mentality in almost anything guild related contents.
If you read this far (we secretly hope you do), and you've been nodding with a few things being said and soon to be done, that is more than enough to show our chemistry.
We hope to expand that chemistry into a beautiful relationship. The deeper the better. (That's what -She)
If any of the above hits your Gspot, whisper in our ear your account name (ex: NUDE.6969). Or let us know your sluttiest character name. Or simply comment here if you're an exhibitionist.
We cannot wait to bend you over, and do all these wonderful things to you. We know you're biting your bottom lip just thinking about it now.
We wish you an incredible day/night wherever the f you are.
We also thank you very much for your precious time to tap into this enormous zone post and consider us at some point.
And of course be stupidly brave enough to apply.
Sometimes people just don't click, no matter what. We understand that. #feelbadman if it happens between us.
If you pass us by, we wish you nothing but the best of luck in finding your one true home.
If you have further questions regarding our guild, feel free to shoot them, preferably on the belly. Not the hair! God kitten it.
We'll get to you as soon as we are able to. We're waiting patiently for your reply. Until then
P.S. Congratulations on reading this huge kitten post all the way through. Yikes.