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Nightmare Salad - a humorous tale


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Here's a funny bit I wrote a week ago and posted elsewhere.


• Charr holding some food item deep fried on a stick.• Sylvari meets charr and asks "What do you have there?"• Charr: "Battered and deep fried choya pup on a stick. I got it from the choya vender over there." then starts to eat.• Sylvari: "You do realize that is their young"• Charr: "Sure, but it's just a plant. They can grow more."• Sylvari: "I'm a plant!"• Charr: "I know but I wouldn't eat you because you're my friend and we fight side by side. Besides it's not like I haven't eaten a sylvari before." taking the last bite and tossing the stick.• Sylvari: "You've eaten a sylvari? WHEN?"• Charr: "Umm, remember that Nightmare court guy I killed last week? I was hungry for a salad and it seemed wrong to let him go to waste.• Sylvari: "I ATE SOME OF THAT SALAD! I KNEW THAT SYLVARI!"• Charr: "What are you complaining about? You said it was a good salad."• Sylvari: "That makes me a cannibal!"• Charr: "That's on you, it's not like we ate charr. That would be disgusting!"

A few minutes later...

• A Norn walks up• Norn: "What's wrong with him?" • Charr: "Remember that patch of lettuce and other veggies we found last week? I told him that the salad we made from it was that Nightmare watch guy I killed; so now he thinks he's a cannibal."• Norn: "Are you ever going to stop messing with that guy?"• Charr: "I can't help it, he's such an easy target. Some people like more short-term practical jokes but I prefer those that have a more long term impact and make them question reality itself. Besides we charr have a reputation for certain fierce appetites that we have to maintain."• Norn laughs hard then quietens down to avoid the sylvari from hearing.• Charr: "I've been trying to find a way to drop this joke on him for days. Have you tried those batter fried eels that the choya vender is selling?"• Norn: "No, are they good?"• Charr: "Yes, they actually are but I told him it was a deep fried choya pup which helped me segway that joke in. A double whammy of sorts."• Norn: "That's too funny! Your twisted!"• Charr: "Go ask him if he wants a deep fried choya pup."• The norn who's was hungry anyway goes to the vender and gets two batter fried eels and walks across the plaza to the sylvari.• Norn: "Cheer up we'll be heading back home in a week. Here have a deep fried choya pup."• Sylvari: "NO!" followed by a pause then he follows up with "I'm not hungry. umm, thanks anyway..."• Norn: "No problem, more for me then." then starts to eat at the batter fried eels as the Sylvari continues to pout.

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