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I'm sorry, but Canach Says is a terrible game


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Seriously, you expect us to intentionally play Simon Says? It was eye rolling enough when you used it as a mechanic in the story, but I think making it the only game in Canach's casino has reached the level of truly insulting, to both the human beings playing GW2 and Canach's legacy as the most awesome character in all of Tyria.

 

Being cheap and/or lazy was all that stopped ArenaNet from licensing and customizing 2D games from a first party, such as PopCap Games (EA) or a middleware provider. When hobbyists of all ages can program hundreds of hours of intricate 2D and 3D games, it's certainly nothing but shear laziness for a studio of professionals to push trivial BS like Canach Says to a live service, especially as the only option of its content type.

 

ArenaNet should be embarrassed and ashamed. Frankly, I am shocked this is what went live.

 

 And to top it off, this will remain as dead content, because it genuinely sucks, and therefore the bean counters will say, "why should we waste money on improving something that nobody uses???". Good Job! 😐

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They could have used different mini-games and even used it as an excuse to create a mobile app. There have been so many times that they are on the verge of creating something fun, good or otherwise noteworthy only to stop just short; creating what amounts to abandon ware content. GW2 is full of abandoned and orphaned content. Places that you can't access, story lines that never get resolved, irritating gaps in the world map, etc. The lack of open access to Claw Island bugs me. It could have been opened as a jump off point to Cantha to open it up. I'd be happy to see a major delay of LWS6 so they can do some real world polish.

Edited by Tekoneiric.6817
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The one thing I will say about Canach Says is that it functions the same way as bomb diffusing in Drizzlewood, so I like to imagine most of the people playing do so at their own peril as a failure means the machine will detonate in your face. You probably have to sign a liability release form at the door.

Apart from that, yeah, kinda lazy to reuse this mechanic all over the expansion. I wish the club was a bit more spacious with more variety in the activities and games to truly make it a place I'd want to hang out. At least it has a bar.

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19 minutes ago, Taygus.4571 said:

is it the same as Mad King Says? if so... then it probably took almost 0 effort/ time and they just slapped a different skin on the game. 

 

I've not played it yet,  and no one here has actually described it.

No, it's entirely different. If you did the story it's like those consoles where you had to imput yellow-red-blue in a specific shown sequence.

If it would have been like Mad King Says (but with Canach saying funny phrases), it would be 10 times better than it is now.

Edited by Killer.4360
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1 hour ago, Killer.4360 said:

No, it's entirely different. If you did the story it's like those consoles where you had to imput yellow-red-blue in a specific shown sequence.

If it would have been like Mad King Says (but with Canach saying funny phrases), it would be 10 times better than it is now.

Ahh, I get it now.  So the game is modeled after "Simon" (the game of repeating colors and sounds), not "Simon Says".  Did they actually call it "Canach Says", though?

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I was expecting something like the Mad King or just somekind of variation of mini activities like - one using the current mechanic, one using emote simon says, one using a mechanical dance off thing like the choya dance we had in Kourna. 

But yeah, the same approach they took with the jade bot terminals is a bit lame. To be fair, having the terminals do different activities is pretty outlandish and would be a coding nightmare to construct or maintain so I totally get it. But yeah, I think mad king version might have been a bit more interesting with the time between emotes decreasing between terminal skill levels. 

That might also be a technical limitation though with it being a dense player hub style setting. 

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I don't think this was ever intended to hold your attention for long periods of time. And plugging the equivalent of Flash games into GW2 is not actually going to be a simple endeavor.

That doesn't mean it's not an interesting idea, mind, but I strongly disagree with the take that not doing so is evidence of laziness on the developers' part. They had an awful lot to do already, and delaying the expansion further to put minigames in a club just doesn't sound like a wise decision.

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11 hours ago, Bast.7253 said:

I was expecting something like the Mad King or just somekind of variation of mini activities like - one using the current mechanic, one using emote simon says, one using a mechanical dance off thing like the choya dance we had in Kourna.

So was I! I had heard about the game at one point in passing, so I went in there a couple days later assuming that I'd get to see Canach and he'd say a bunch of hilarious Canach stuff and it would be a great o'l time. But nope, it's just... a stupid waste.

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It's not a bad game, it just isn't strong enough to be the only game to play in there when the special events aren't up.

I hope to see that place get updates as the patches progress.

 

  

18 hours ago, AgentMoore.9453 said:

The one thing I will say about Canach Says is that it functions the same way as bomb diffusing in Drizzlewood, so I like to imagine most of the people playing do so at their own peril as a failure means the machine will detonate in your face. You probably have to sign a liability release form at the door.

I mean.. it would be in character for Canach. 😛

Edited by Roda.7468
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Really wanted to get that Jade backpack and just did 900 coins in one go.

Do you know the feeling when you're foot falls asleep and goes numb? This is my brain now.

 

When spice is the variety of life farming Canach Coins is boiled, not seared, chicken breast not even seasoned with salt and pepper.

Canach Says itself is fine but grinding coins is monotonous beyond reason.

 

16 hours ago, Hollowhisper.1093 said:

I think Canach somehow mentions that he makes millions in gold from his club games.

 

There's a brothel in the back.

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17 hours ago, Nazarick.9653 said:

...especially if they keep trying the expert console and don't realise that it's rigged to always lose.

I thought this at first, but eventually realized there is a timer counting down, and it's just very tight for expert. Once it reaches zero, you automatically lose.

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My problem with the Canach club, is that is a nice idea...but badly executed. 
It could be a hub for all the  minigames/races/mini gambling that the game have--with cosmetics rewards as a final end.. Like a gold saucer in gw2.  Even the darkmoon faire have more content than the club...

But as always is gonna be abandoned as content. 
 

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On 3/16/2022 at 10:45 AM, Sirius.4510 said:

I don't think this was ever intended to hold your attention for long periods of time. And plugging the equivalent of Flash games into GW2 is not actually going to be a simple endeavor.

That doesn't mean it's not an interesting idea, mind, but I strongly disagree with the take that not doing so is evidence of laziness on the developers' part. They had an awful lot to do already, and delaying the expansion further to put minigames in a club just doesn't sound like a wise decision.

True.  They didn't even have time to put events into Kaineng City or Dragon's End and had to copy/paste.  Did we expect anything other than copy/paste for fluff like Canach's area?  I did really enjoy the jazz music there, though.  Like the rest of the music in this expansion, they did a great job on that!

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Just had an idea : Maybe canach says could become a minigame you could bring with you anywhere, using an (illimited?) item.

It doesnt make the game much better, but at least I'd be able to play it on the go, in group content whenever there's a small break / afk, while waiting for DE's meta after I got my 10 buffs, etc ; not stay in arborstone for it

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I don't believe that choosing to stay within your budget equates to being, "lazy." Is everyone who doesn't own a high end luxury car, "lazy," for living within their budget?

Is anyone who opts to use, "shear," rather than checking the dictionary to realize that, "sheer," was the correct word choice, "lazy?"

 

That said, I've never cared for Simon so I do understand the disappointment.

Edited by Ashen.2907
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On 3/16/2022 at 1:41 PM, Hollowhisper.1093 said:

Definitely not the brightest candles on a cake...

I'm in this picture and I don't like it. These mini games are solitaire. Tune in and zone out for a mental vacation. I have the Jazz title and the third arm backpack so far. A few things:

  • Expert "Canach Says" builds up to seven key presses and rewards 30 coins. To get in under the expert time limit you MUST respond faster than the prompt. This is easy with different notes, harder with repeats due to cooldown.
  • I think Expert is most efficient despite a longer game, because it takes one jade charge per game. There are only so many batteries around and they take a while to recharge.
  • The moa race and coin collection events alternate, with a 15 minute break in between.
  • Always participate in the events. Moa race is a 20% chance to win a bag of 100 coins. Coin collecting with a drone is a low effort way to grab 60-ish coins. There's probably some super efficient route but whatever. Less time efficient than just playing Canach Says, but it's a nice break. Both award some experience and karma.
  • I've only won the moa race twice out of five times needed for the Lucky Guess achievement. It's a stretch goal.
  • Like, Jazz is cool and you're supporting the band.
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