Cragga the Eighty Third.60 Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 Just re-found this one which I remembered hearing a few times: it happens in Mrot Boru in Brisbane Wildlands, between an Asura named Eblo and a sylvari named Bachlag.Bachlag: Look out, sir! There's a charr nearby!Eblo: Don't worry, sprout. Charr may look tough, but it's all an act. All roar, no claws.Bachlag: But they're monsters! Wouldn't it eat me? Do they eat vegetables?Eblo: Meat, vegetables, fruit, catnip...but I don't think they'd eat you. What, did you fall off the tree yesterday?Bachlag: Certainly not, sir! I fell off the tree five days ago. I fell off a turnip cart yesterday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashen.2907 Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 That is a good one. Love it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AliamRationem.5172 Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 Logan: "You have something to say to me? Say it to my face."Rytlock: "I would, if you weren't always running away!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoseofGilead.8907 Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 Citizen (human): Did you see what he's selling?Citizen (norn): By Ogden's hammer! What savings!RIP, Ogden's Hammer Norn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just a flesh wound.3589 Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 Citizen: You put a shooting range next to a tavern?Seraph Soldier: Only one fatality this week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tails.9372 Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 I believe some asura in Elona said: "If charrs were civilised they would be humans." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batel.9206 Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 One of my favorite background conversations is a Wolf shaman telling a story to a bunch of kids in Hoelbrak. To summarize, the spirit of Wolf found an injured child, trapped in a ravine. Wolf tried to get the child out, but he (Wolf) got lost when a fierce blizzard started up. He heard his pack howling, and he howled back so they could find him. They did - and the child, a little girl, was safe.Before I started playing this game, I read up on the lore and came up with a backstory for my norn lady: as a small child, she got lost and injured during a snowstorm, and what may or may not have been the spirit of Wolf guided her home. To honor him, and to never forget what had happened, she took the last name Stormwolf.Then I actually started playing the game and came across that conversation, and my jaw hit the floor. That was one awesome coincidence.Other conversations? Those two asura progeny in Metrica Province (the Hinterlabs):Progeny #1: Your mama's IQ is SOOOOOO low...she thinks norn cows go MOOT!Progeny #2: [...]she thinks a golemancer is what you get when you ask a golemquestion!Progeny #1: [...]she thinks Blood Legion is something you should see a doctor for!Etc. :joy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirTomato.3627 Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 Life is a trial, Koda the judge and kodan the jury. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zedek.8932 Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 Just out of my mind and from German to English:In a lab in Metrica Province:Female Scientist: "Alright. What does the blue button do?"Male scientist: [Dry] "Don't know."[3 second break]Female scientist: "Ok. And what does the yellow one do?"Male scientist: [bored] "No clue."[3 second break]Female scientist: "Fine. And what does the grey button do?Male scientist: "NO! NEVER EVER TOUCH THAT BUTTON!!"[3 second break]Female scientist: "Good. What does the purple button do?"Male scientist: [Very bored] "Dunno.."The voice acting does A LOT. Also, in the same lab, there is an old guy coming to the two switch people above and always starts an argument about wrong calculations and such, usually being ended by a childish comeback. Ocassionally, some young Asura girl walks in and tries to watch but getting told off by some old guy, calling her a "Mikro-Göre" (Micro brat or mini brat), all this together is a pleasure to listen to and "Mikrogöre" is now a word that randomly pops in my mind and makes me smile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alienz.4593 Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 I could hardly function at all yesterday. I couldn't find my favourite septacaliper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khailyn.6248 Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 this exchange during the personal story made me laugh. Minor spoilers for PoF personal story. Speaking with Scholar Nimmin:<Character name>: Excuse me. I'm in need of information.<Character name>: I'm scouring the Riverlands for a place of special significance. It might be related to Vlast. Anything come to mind?Scholar Nimmin: Special significance? Well, I did have the most spectacular romantic encounter of my life on an overlook just thataway—<Character name>: Not quite like that. What I mean is—Scholar Nimmin: Let me set the scene for you!<Character name>: Please don't.Scholar Nimmin: Sunset. I'm looking out over the Riverlands, brooding and pensive. A rebel with a heart of gold... If only she would notice.Scholar Nimmin: And just then: she arrives! Dressed to kill and wearing the most alluring fragrance. But why? <Character name>: Please stop talking for a moment.Scholar Nimmin: Then I realize: This is no chance encounter. She's on a mission.Scholar Nimmin: And her sole objective: taming a heart that, by its very nature, must run free.<Character name>: Fantastic. I need to go now.Speaking with Scholar Nimmin:If spoke with Scholar Nimmin earlier: <Character name>: I have a feeling I'm going to regret this, but I have another question for you.<Character name>: Do you know anything about a lost city located somewhere in the Riverlands?Scholar Nimmin: Lost city? How do you lose a city?Scholar Nimmin: I mean, I'm forgetful. I've lost plenty of things. But a city?<Character name>: Just...just answer the question, please.Scholar Nimmin: Once I lost my favorite journal. Looked everywhere for it. And I never did find it, but you know what I did find?<Character name>: Please say "a lost city."Scholar Nimmin: ...Every single left sock I had ever misplaced. I swear, if it's not in the last place you look, it's...well, elsewhere.<Character name>: Fantastic. I need to go now.If spoke with Scholar Nimmin earlier: <Character name>: I have a feeling I'm going to regret this, but I have another question for you.<Character name>: I'm searching for a lost city called Kesho. What do you know about it?Scholar Nimmin: Kesho? Y'mean...oh. Wait. Kesho. I know who you're talking about.<Character name>: No, Kesho's a place—Scholar Nimmin: I met him at a krewe mixer some years ago, if memory serves. Short fellow, yes? Loud, reeking of solvent—<Character name>: Please. Stop talking.Scholar Nimmin: ...And the most hideous laughter I've ever heard— (imitating laughter)<Character name>: Thanks. I'm walking away now..<Character name>: Why did I think that'd turn out differently this time?Most useless Asura ever.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mewcifer.5198 Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 Oh boy here we go!Lemme tell you about Dugh! He is this creepy stalker sounding NPC in Beetetun. If you talk to him you get this:And if you follow him around you get to watch him awkwardly flirt with a carnival lady, bother random other npcs, talk about how he is super grateful to not have to face any centaurs, and then immediately talk about how he would fight any centaur to Amaybel. When I found him I was in a voice chat with some friends and we had a big laugh over Dugh as we followed him around listening to the dialog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sako.7609 Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 "Wow. That's quality armor." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoseofGilead.8907 Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 @"Sako.7609" said:"Wow. That's quality armor.""Thanks!""Thanks!""Thanks!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elspereth.1280 Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 Grikka: Trinkets and treasures! Low, low prices! No one can beat my bargains!Helf Stonebrow: Like a crazed berserker, I am slashing prices!Helf Stonebrow: No one is crazier than I am! With prices this low, I am practically giving things away!Helf Stonebrow: No one has deals like I do! No beast! No man! No god! I am literally killing the competition!Helf Stonebrow: My slaughter will flood this marketplace in an ocean of bloody bargains! Buy or die! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Odinens.5920 Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 Town Crier in Divinity's Reach: My job is better than yours! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alek Seven.2374 Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 Hayato: Do you ever wish for something—a wave of krait, or a horde of undead—just to break the monotony?Caromi Scout: Have you ever faced a wave of krait or a horde of undead?Hayato: No.Caromi Scout: Learn to savor the monotony.Hayato: Here's an idea: let's knock on the humongous gate door, then hide and see what they do when they open up and no one's there.Caromi Scout: Please don't talk to me for the remainder of the shift. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palador.2170 Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 For me, it has to be the discussion about the Crush cubs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kururu.8140 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 "You have a great day now.""Is that a threat or a prediction?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alatar.7364 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Gate Assistant (female Sylvari): Your golem is strange. Was strange, rather.Gate Engineer (male Asura): You drove it away, you know. I've never seen a golem run that fast.Gate Assistant: I only wanted to ask it a few questions.Gate Engineer: Oh, I know. You guys are full of them.Gate Assistant: Oh, yes. What it's like to be a golem? Does it dream? Does it have a family?Gate Engineer: That was the last straw you know. After that question about turtles in the desert, you asked it about its mother.Gate Assistant: So?Gate Engineer: It doesn't have a mother. It's a golem. You crossed its circuits. I don't know how you did it, but you weirded out MY golem!Gate Assistant: So, you are the mother? Or the father?Gate Engineer: What? Well, I—I guess I... Oh no. You're not getting in my head. You just stand there and help me monitor the gate.Gate Engineer: Am I the mother? Blazing braces, this is what I get for working with the tree children Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seamus.9645 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Less Violence, More Violets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randulf.7614 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 If you wait by the river long enough, you will see the body of your enemy flow past. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danikat.8537 Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 Late reply but it took me a while to try and pick some.Firstly the two vase sellers outside Amnoon:Merchant: Vases! Get the best vases here.Merchant: Exquisite, artisanal vases here.Merchant (1): All the best vases here!Merchant (1): Rare painted vases from the Salt Flats!Merchant (2): All the rarest painted vases from the famed Halls of Ascension here!Merchant (2): Don't be fooled by cheap knockoffs.Merchant (1): Don't believe everything you hear.Merchant (1): Everyone knows the worst vases are made near Augury Rock.Merchant (2): The clay around the Salt Flats makes for brittle vases.Merchant (2): Get your vases here! Only the best from Augury Rock.Merchant (1): The clay from Augury Rock is cursed. Just saying.Merchant (1): Only the best from the Salt Flats! Decent vases here, free of curses.Merchant (2): Lucky vases from the famed Halls of Ascension here!But also, on a different note, the conversations between Quaestor Dewclaw and Arcanist Davworth about the Searing Cauldron in Iron Marches. I think it's a great way to introduce the lore and the history for those who don't know it and an interesting insight into modern attitudes towards the Searing. Especially the fact that a human is the one who wants to keep the cauldron and a charr wants it destroyed for being too dangerous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HellBeast.6320 Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 I haven't located the actual names/who says it and it isn't posted dialogue in the chat box but...In the new LS episode in the Omakhan village, sometimes when I run by I hear two members of the tribe talking (one male and one female). They are talking about you and basically start fanboy/fangirl'ing over you. It's one of the many conversations in game that I have stopped what I was doing to listen to but definitely one of my favorite on how it plays out. I also have only been to Sandswept on a male Charr so it makes it even more enduring to me. But the first time I heard it, I stopped to listen to it play out <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kharmin.7683 Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 Kids will be kids. Two char cubs talking next to the vista in the Town of Nolan (Diessa Plateau):Girl Cub: This place is haunted.Boy Cub: (dismissive) No way. I haven't seen any ghosts around here.G: There's no other explanation! Where else would this singing be coming from?B: From your but.G: Ewww! Shut up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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