Playing as socially inept rude?

[Ashen.2907]

1) Join guilds that suits your preferences.

2) Dont join a guild and expect them to change to suit you.

3) Dont join a guild that will expect you to change significantly to suit them.

These three points apply to more than just sociability.

[Kanok.3027]

When I had my guild, we encouraged others to get into Discord voice chat with us, but it wasn't required to talk. Listening was our biggest issue, so if someone didn't feel like talking, but could still listen to us, it was the most preferred method. We always understood that not everyone can/would want to talk, so we respected their wishes. If they could not even listen, or didn't want to, we also typed things out, which was more work, but we understood. Still, we encouraged Discord voice at least for listening to instructions for dungeons, fractals and especially guild missions.

With the current patch, my gf and I have left the game temporary hoping things will improve, but when we get back and restart the guild, it'll be the same in that regard. It's good for a guild to take that approach so as many people are covered as possible, but everyone runs their guilds differently.

[Thornwolf.9721]

@Mortifera.6138 said:Some people blame casualization on dads, saying they shouldn’t be playing video games. Well, what about a socially inept person playing a social game? I have no social skills, which keeps me from using voice comms, as I feel I would just ruin everyone’s fun with my awkwardness and insecurities. What do you think? Is it the socially inept players’s fault if they don’t mesh with a social guild? Or should the guild be more understanding of abnormal human behavior?

Guilds should not be what they are now which is nothing but a glamour. They should be a social environment and how they run that is up to those in charge; But being able to be in five guilds and being able to just go where you fancy is wrong. It should be a matter of pride, a family and a bunch of people YOU feel comfortable gaming with and who are your friends. We have none of that currently ~

[Tarlonniel.6534]

@Tukaram.8256 said:

@"hugo.4705" said:

Also what is dads? They play the game with their child? Missed the meaning of first sentence.

I did not understand that at all either.

I think the OP is referring to the group of people known as "gamer dads" - male gamers with growing demands on their time from family, work, etc. , so they can't spend as much time playing as they used to. There was a lot of focus from game journalists and developers on how to accommodate gamer dads for a while; not sure how much it's died down now. Maybe they've shifted to a more gender-neutral term.

[Khisanth.2948]

@"Kaltyn of Torbins Deep.2946" said:

@"Illconceived Was Na.9781" said:I don't use a mic and it hasn't stopped me from participating in group content. I do join discord and, if needed, use (muted) headphones so I can hear people. I'm content with typing. And while

some

many people tease me

occasionally

incessantly about it, I've only met two people who actually weren't willing to accommodate this quirk of mine.

It's definitely easier on my colleagues when they don't have to type, so my primary reason for listening is to respect their preferences. (Likewise gamers generally accept my preference for going mic-less.)

Use voice or don't. Use a mic or not. The choice is yours. If you state your intent with confidence, then anyone important to your gaming is going to accept your preference.

PS I do not attempt to justify my choice to never use a microphone; it's a preference, like not eating pomegranate, so it doesn't need a reason.

PPS there are ways to turn your typing into speech that the computer reads allowed. Just about all software has a provision for it (except TeamSpeak for some reason), although in some its native (e.g. Mumble) and some it's really a pain to set up and use (e.g Discord)

"...like not eating pomegranate..."

GAAAAAAAH! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!! I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU ANYMORE!!!

(This is a joke and is meant to generate laughter)

I thought that was supposed to be a commentary on the tendency for text to speech garble up what things were said. This can be especially bad when it tries to read some people's names.

[jbrother.1340]

@Illconceived Was Na.9781 said:

@Psientist.6437 said:The time you spend in Tyria is yours, you do not owe us anything.

Sage advice.

Maybe not owe...

I agree with the statement, I really do. I would only ask that maybe you could loan us some civility and honorable behavior. I will pay you back with the same and interest.This is directed at the OP to this quote. It is good advice to live and let live within what can be allowed. If you decide to come and kill chickens on my lawn all bets are off ;)

[jbrother.1340]

@Tarlonniel.6534 said:

@Tukaram.8256 said:

@"hugo.4705" said:

Also what is dads? They play the game with their child? Missed the meaning of first sentence.

I did not understand that at all either.

I think the OP is referring to the group of people known as "gamer dads" - male gamers with growing demands on their time from family, work, etc. , so they can't spend as much time playing as they used to. There was a lot of focus from game journalists and developers on how to accommodate gamer dads for a while; not sure how much it's died down now. Maybe they've shifted to a more gender-neutral term.

Once they get a little older nothing wrong with teaching them about your hobby and using it as an opportunity to get closer to your child while they learn what gaming means to them. You also have the opportunity to teach them about safe gaming and time management habits during this engagement. Might also help dad (and let us be real here a moment; mothers are no less gamers than fathers these days) learn time management better as well.

People should stop labeling people and allow us all to actually be what we are. Individuals that have no collective consciousness. My island might bump into yours now and again but we are all floating solo on the same sea.

Fine... no more analogy or metaphor for at least 30 seconds.

[Sovereign.1093]

@Mortifera.6138 said:Some people blame casualization on dads, saying they shouldn’t be playing video games. Well, what about a socially inept person playing a social game? I have no social skills, which keeps me from using voice comms, as I feel I would just ruin everyone’s fun with my awkwardness and insecurities. What do you think? Is it the socially inept players’s fault if they don’t mesh with a social guild? Or should the guild be more understanding of abnormal human behavior?

its the fault of the person who assumes. first let it be known. most guilds tolerate weirdness.

[Edelweiss.4261]

I was diagnosed with Aspergers(now ASD) 16 years ago. It took time, but I have learned to deal with (most)social situations. I think an important aspect of social navigation is being open about your shortcomings and putting in effort to avoid repeating mistakes. When you upset someone, apologize and try to learn why it upset them. Reasonable people tend to recognize the effort you put in and will be more willing to overlook small mistakes. It's all about showing that you care.

[Teratus.2859]

I don't like using Mic's either.Don't mind listening to others but I much prefer to talk via text than vocalize.

I'm aware of how inconvinient it can be, mostly for me but I find I am just far more comfortable communicating that way.I'm really uncomfortable on voice chat because I overthink too much and start worrying about stupid stuff like, i'm being too loud or i'm being too quiet or i'm being really akward and ruining the atmosphere or i'm being too boisterous, laughing and joking all the time and annoying people.Then I worry about the things I say.. (I have a very open and dark sense of humor) so I also worry about making jokes and of course have to constantly be mindful of what I laugh at in case I end up annoying or offending someone which is severely easy to do in todays societies.

It's far too much discomfort for my tastes, easier for me to avoid it and saves me a lot of headaches having to deal with the occasional angry person who gets all crazy over a joke they don't like.I don't like walking on eggshells.. it's very stressful for me but thankfully in real life it's something easily avoided via choosing your social circle.Much harder to do online.

[nosleepdemon.1368]

You should try becoming a Dad OP, opens your social skills right up :P

[Cuks.8241]

@Thornwolf.9721 said:Guilds should not be what they are now which is nothing but a glamour. They should be a social environment and how they run that is up to those in charge; But being able to be in five guilds and being able to just go where you fancy is wrong. It should be a matter of pride, a family and a bunch of people YOU feel comfortable gaming with and who are your friends. We have none of that currently ~

This is up to players. The guild system is fine and gives you plenty of options. If you feel disconnected with your guild mates this is not something devs can fix.

[Tukaram.8256]

@Tarlonniel.6534 said:

@Tukaram.8256 said:

@"hugo.4705" said:

Also what is dads? They play the game with their child? Missed the meaning of first sentence.

I did not understand that at all either.

I think the OP is referring to the group of people known as "gamer dads" - male gamers with growing demands on their time from family, work, etc. , so they can't spend as much time playing as they used to. There was a lot of focus from game journalists and developers on how to accommodate gamer dads for a while; not sure how much it's died down now. Maybe they've shifted to a more gender-neutral term.

Ah, never heard of that... but I am a grandad gamer. I got nothing but time ha haI highly recommend retirement - as soon as you can :)

[Psientist.6437]

@jbrother.1340 said:

@Illconceived Was Na.9781 said:

@Psientist.6437 said:The time you spend in Tyria is yours, you do not owe us anything.

Sage advice.

Maybe not owe...

I agree with the statement, I really do. I would only ask that maybe you could loan us some civility and honorable behavior. I will pay you back with the same and interest.This is directed at the OP to this quote. It is good advice to live and let live within what can be allowed. If you decide to come and kill chickens on my lawn all bets are off ;)

I started a timer to measure how long before someone took my comment out of the context offered by the OP and spun it into them posing, chest puffed at their property line. It took longer than I expected. Your chickens are safe.

edit:

Your play on words deserves more than what I first offered. But it also implies I am not being civil or honorable. For many social people, doing the work of being social is considered civil and honorable. Being good at social is often considered civil and honorable. Not wanting to be social typical or being bad at social typical often elicits defense of social typical honor. I may be wrong, but this thread was likely triggered by such a defense. They were willing to engage but to an extent deemed uncivil and dishonorable by the entire group or vocal individuals. That defense is likely to limit or eliminate the potential for a social atypical person to learn social competency or proficiency.

A guild has every right to gate keep, to demand social payment or collateral. A guildless player is a free agent who doesn't lose all of their free agency status when joining a guild.

Honor is not an objective absolute but instead a relativistic topography where individuals cost signal their values with maintaining the topography as a universal value. Within the topography of Tyrian social, I would describe civility as demanded collateral instead of a loan.

[Illconceived Was Na.9781]

@"Psientist.6437" said:Your play on words ... also implies I am not being civil or honorable.On first and third read, I took it that way. Then I decided that the sentence makes more sense taken in the third person, rather than the second...

Something like, "I would only ask that maybe people could also loan out some civility and honorable behavior. I know that it will be paid back with interest."

That seems like a reasonable request. The alternative interpretation comes across as an attack on someone else's character, which undermines the rest of the phrase entirely.

[Thornwolf.9721]

@Cuks.8241 said:

@"Thornwolf.9721" said:Guilds should not be what they are now which is nothing but a glamour. They should be a social environment and how they run that is up to those in charge; But being able to be in five guilds and being able to just go where you fancy is wrong. It should be a matter of pride, a family and a bunch of people YOU feel comfortable gaming with and who are your friends. We have none of that currently ~

This is up to players. The guild system is fine and gives you plenty of options. If you feel disconnected with your guild mates this is not something devs can fix.

They had a system which worked in guild wars 1, It is something they could fix. It is something they "Should" fix. Guild battles, alliance battles.

[Tekneeq.4302]

@Mortifera.6138 said:Some people blame casualization on dads, saying they shouldn’t be playing video games. Well, what about a socially inept person playing a social game? I have no social skills, which keeps me from using voice comms, as I feel I would just ruin everyone’s fun with my awkwardness and insecurities. What do you think? Is it the socially inept players’s fault if they don’t mesh with a social guild? Or should the guild be more understanding of abnormal human behavior?

i have terrible social anxiety myself.. but i found that actually opening up and talking to guildies and others shows that other people also have similar feelings of social anxiety,, GW2 puts me in a whole other world where my real life issues get put on halt while i am gaming.. never let anyone tell you youre to old to play,, i didnt kno having fun had an age limit? a lot of guilds require you use discord.. but most that i have seen only want u to listen to certain things and they dont care if u have a mic or not

[Vision.7265]

@Mortifera.6138 said:Some people blame casualization on dads, saying they shouldn’t be playing video games. Well, what about a socially inept person playing a social game? I have no social skills, which keeps me from using voice comms, as I feel I would just ruin everyone’s fun with my awkwardness and insecurities. What do you think? Is it the socially inept players’s fault if they don’t mesh with a social guild? Or should the guild be more understanding of abnormal human behavior?

Talking on voice communication software IS abnormal behavior. There is no way to gauge nonverbal cues, eye contact, gestures, etc. It's a bunch of people talking over each other and becomes a real poopshow if it isn't regulated. For me, social is IRL and only in IRL. I think the good news is: if you are awkward, no one can see it since it's just typing and random chatter on comms.

I think it's great to organize and explain with limited voices on voice comms, however, it gets to be a free-for-all if it isn't controlled in some manner and very annoying.

[Zaklex.6308]

@Thornwolf.9721 said:

@Cuks.8241 said:

@Thornwolf.9721 said:Guilds should not be what they are now which is nothing but a glamour. They should be a social environment and how they run that is up to those in charge; But being able to be in five guilds and being able to just go where you fancy is wrong. It should be a matter of pride, a family and a bunch of people YOU feel comfortable gaming with and who are your friends. We have none of that currently ~

This is up to players. The guild system is fine and gives you plenty of options. If you feel disconnected with your guild mates this is not something devs can fix.

They had a system which worked in guild wars 1, It is something they could fix. It is something they "Should" fix. Guild battles, alliance battles.

Besides the fact that they're working on alliances I know that it was always a desire of at least 51% of the player base to have the option of being in more than one guild in GW1(that was from ArenaNets own internal stats, of which I knew a few because of reasons which I am still not at liberty to state). As for the rest of your point, a Guild is what ever the leaders desire it to be, at one point before this game launched I know that a lot of the big guilds from GW1 encouraged their membership to pick the same "server" to join in GW2 for WvW purposes. Did they leave some things out the people loved about the first game, yes, they did, for obvious reasons...one of which was the switch from a CORPG to a full-fledged MMO(but still not traditional), opinions will differ but what really happened was people expected 2 to be like 1...I had no such expectations, I actually expected it to be completely different style once they announced it was going to be an "Open World" MMO.

@XYLO.7031 said:

@Mortifera.6138 said:Some people blame casualization on dads, saying they shouldn’t be playing video games. Well, what about a socially inept person playing a social game? I have no social skills, which keeps me from using voice comms, as I feel I would just ruin everyone’s fun with my awkwardness and insecurities. What do you think? Is it the socially inept players’s fault if they don’t mesh with a social guild? Or should the guild be more understanding of abnormal human behavior?

Talking on voice communication software IS abnormal behavior. There is no way to gauge nonverbal cues, eye contact, gestures, etc. It's a bunch of people talking over each other and becomes a real poopshow if it isn't regulated. For me, social is IRL and only in IRL. I think the good news is: if you are awkward, no one can see it since it's just typing and random chatter on comms.

I think it's great to organize and explain with limited voices on voice comms, however, it gets to be a free-for-all if it isn't controlled in some manner and very annoying.

If that's how you've been experiencing voice chat in games then I blame the people you're in voice chat with, there's absolutely no reason for everyone to talk over each other unless it's just casual conversation...in which case that represents everyday normal conversation that people have(in case you didn't notice). If it's for game purposes then only certain people should be talking and only in certain circumstances or when spoken to...otherwise it can be chaos like you describe, but it's still technically being social. Actually, playing this game is being social in the looses sense of the work because you're inhabiting a game world filled with other avatars controlled by other real life human beings...unless you always play in solo instanced content cut-off from the rest of the population.