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Dragons Stand, Pact Base Camp Waypoint: Some NPC says "Wow. That's quality armor!" and then three NPC's all reply at the same time "Thanks!!" It is not hilariously funny but I keep running into the script when I do Dragon Stand meta so it is at the top of my mind.

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Personal history have lots specially char stuff,. like Mangonel Gearstrip lines:


Mangonel Gearstrip: Hail, Commander! Gear warband, reporting for duty — with siege engines in tow.

: Those tanks are amazing. You sailed with them all the way from Lion's Arch?Mangonel Gearstrip: Oh, that wasn't the hard part. Keeping myself dry the whole trip, now that was a problem. Cottonmouth — blarg!Carys: I've always wanted to ride one of these metal thingies into battle. I'm so excited.Mangonel Gearstrip: Now you're my kind of sylvari. We should grab a whiskey later.Tegwen: Back to the task at hand. Those tanks give us the tactical advantage we need to position Pact troops outside Arah.Tegwen: We'll finish unloading the war machines onto dry land, Commander. Once you're ready, meet us at the Western Colonnade.


After speaking with Ballista Geargrind:

Ballista Geargrind: Let's not keep the commander waiting. Get this column in gear!Ballista Geargrind: Mangonel's our whiskey expert. After this mission's successful, the first round's on him.Ballista Geargrind: Right now, I want to see tails in motion. Form up and move out!Ballista Geargrind: Move out!Talking with Mangonel Gearstrip:

Mangonel Gearstrip: The charr have waited a long time to march into Orr. Just wait until the Risen get a taste of our firepower. We'll be guzzling grog in Arah before you know it.(If the player is a Norn who chose to have blacked out in their personal story)Talk more option tango.pngNo slip-ups this time: victory first, then we go drinking.Ugh, I learned that lesson the hard way. But once we bring down Zhaitan, I plan to jump into a vat of whiskey and drink till my feet are dry.Talk end option tango.png Sounds like a plan.Talk end option tango.png Let's get there first, soldier.

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I'd take @"ugrakarma.9416"'s answer further and say anything involving the Gear warband. Especially the 'got drunk and passed out at a moot' storyline for norn.

There's also a bit in Victory or Death when someone complains that there's dragon champions everywhere and Zojja says "Let's just call it a target-rich environment!" which makes me smile every time.

Lots of the ambient dialogue too, like the kids in Shaemoor playing Destiny's Edge.

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Some of the sylvari NPC lines are funny:

Other than that, i really enjoyed the Norn storyline where they get drunk with a charr and steal a tank.

But there are so many in the story and random NPC's that i can't even recall most of them.I know i enjoyed LS3 and LS4 a lot, there were a bunch of funny moments there.

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early in personal story as sylvari, going to the bandit camp.

Cai: I've been working on this disguise spell for a while. The hat alone took three months! I knew it'd come in handy to look like a human.Cai: What do you think? I'm not as talented as the queen of Divinity's Reach, but my work as a mesmer is a benefit to the Order of Whispers.

: It's...a little unnerving, to be honest. I feel mushy and unwieldy.Cai: Well, you won't have to wear it for long. According to our records, Riannoc's squire was named Waine. This human settlement is his place of birth.: Hang on, you already knew the name of Riannoc's squire? Why didn't you say so?Cai: The Order of Whispers knows a lot more than most people realize. We are Tyria's eyes and ears. The more we know, the more subtly we can operate.Cai: We don't have a big army or a ton of researchers. Instead, we use politics and blackmail to shape the world.: And if blackmail doesn't get you what you want?Cai: Then we steal it, of course. Now come on, these disguises won't last forever, and we have a lot ...Bandit Leader Dola: Not bad, cutter. The whole camp's talking about you. Running this place is a lot like herding cats. So, do you know Waine well?: Absolutely. Waine and I have been old friends since we were tiny, weak, pink fleshlings.Bandit Leader Dola: You mean since you were...children? Right. Okay, got it. Heh. You're pretty funny, cutter. Look, I hardly know the bloke, but he's like a brother to Jat.Tiny, weak, ping fleshlings!and the next step:Child: Daddy, look! Walking ferns!Villager: Hey now, it's rude to stare. Now watch the fighters and let daddy drink his beer.Cai: Fantastic! It worked! I thought we had no chance.: Hang on. Cai? What happened? Where'd the dredge go?Cai: Dredge... right... wow, that stuff was strong. Don't worry. The good guys won, Waine fell over like a chump, and we've got Caladbolg.: But... the oozes! The oozes! And the dredge!Cai: Hoo, boy. We'd better get out of here, before you start calling me Queen Jennah and thanking me for the tea.Also the Durmand path afterwards is full of funny line. And who could forget Tybalt? pure gold.
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"Demmi's been kidnapped by pirates! COOL!"

...actually, that whole storyline with the Order of Whispers: rescuing Demmi from pirates. The part that had me falling out of my chair laughing was just how utterly blitzed out of his mind my poor sylvari sounded.Demmi: "Oh, thank the goddess Lyssa! I was starting to think the Order had forgotten me. Do you have a plan to get out of this place alive?"PC: "SOrt of." (that is not a typo; his voice squeaked) "The idea starts with ‘run for it’ aaaAaaand generally goes downhill from there, c’mon!”The hangover must have been excruciating, but it was hilarious while it lasted.

Another good bit from the sylvari personal story, joining the Priory this time. You, Trahearne, Caithe, and Iowerth are sent to Mazdak's tomb to (re-)kill him before he launches his not-so-surprise attack. Trahearne at one point halts the team to check if a corridor is trapped. He creates a minion and sends it through the hallway. Predictably, it is immediately impaled, shot, set on fire, and explodes.Trahearne, in one of the only times he loses his composure, actually leaps back and yelps "WHOA!!"

Let's not forget the legendary "Your mom's IQ is sooooo low...." exchange between two progeny somewhere in Metrica Province.

[Edit: Progeny. Not prodigy. And I call myself a copyeditor.]

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Random comment by a Charr working on a piece of machinery: Tab A fits into slot B? Who wrote these instructions?

Norn in Hoelbrak:Elder: So there's this scar on my back. I got it from trying to ride a moose.Local: A moose? But if you were riding it, how did it get your back?Elder: I meant, I tried to ride it backwards. Too easy to face forward.

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There are so many things that keep me giggling:

  • Canach: "This is the place, eh? Are we happy with our battlefield, Captain Thackeray?" - During the Thunderhead Peaks north-meta. It is funny, because in that time-period, Logan's correct rank is Marshal of the Pact, no longer Captain of the Seraph. I always wondered why they made this mistake, but I assume same as the Commander, Logan got used to this name/rank over the years, it is hard to let go.
  • Canach: "Victoriously flee for our lives, I think he means—" | Logan: "Shut up and RUN, Canach!" - At the end of the Thunderhead Peaks north-meta. This is the memory I will keep of Canach, no matter what the future will bring.
  • The floating-cat-bug in the Rata Sum Home Instance. If you own a few cats for your home instance and did not bother to unlock Garden Plots yet, you may witness one of your cats climbing the invisible stairs and walking on the non-existend garden plot. This also happens with your minis in Open World, when you are near structures which are not always present (e. g. bridges). It looks absolutely hilarious.
  • Raiders of the Lost Ark - Almost every map has at least one location, which is usually extremely difficult to reach (even for map-breakers), which contains an unusual object. I do not know if the map-creators just forgot the object there or placed it there on purpose. But whenever I find such an object, I start laughing.
  • Lord Faren.
  • Tzark: "See? This is why we need a cohesive plan. People just wander in here and get attacked." | Detha Tremblebones: "No one's arguing about the need for a plan. Your plan is just stupid and won't work." - Right at the beginning of Ascalonian Catacombs (Explorable). Best Asura/Charr dialogue in the game.
  • Demolitionist Platt: "Now, we want to twist the blue wire carefully around like so, and— Oh." | (Bomb explodes) | Soldier (2): "Was that intentional?" | Soldier (3): "You never know with asura." - Camp Resolve. 2nd best Asura/Charr dialogue in the game.
  • The special prison-cell in the Peacemakers Headquarters in Rata Sum. I have spent a lot of time in that prison-cell and met all kinds of people there. It is mostly a fun situation and often results in giggles xD. If no one else is there, you can just witness the entire dialogue of Prison Warden Zikki.
  • The business-as-usual tour guide in the Home Instance in DR during 'Arson at the Orphanage.' You cannot blame this person to get easily distracted by anything.
  • Meatloaf again? ... it is funny because it is so annoying.
  • Getting launched into outer-space during Hearts and Minds, while trying to use an Updraft. It sure is annoying, but I laugh whenever it happens.
  • All incarnations of Hero-Tron, including the gathering tools and the backpack.
  • Vishen Steelshot: "The great Pact Commander. Have we met? Don't care! Let me introduce you to my ammo." - Drizzlewood Coast, south meta at Wolf's Crossing. This is how we are treated by ever story-character.
  • "Nice, very nice!" - My character when a combo was executed. However, I always experience it saying that line when I receive a critical/almost lethal hit or mess up something big, e. g. wasted a skill with long cooldown on nothing. It almost feels like my character picking on me for making errors xD.
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When you do the Path of Fire story and get to the part in the Elon Riverlands, you talk to an Asura for information. He's literally the funniest npc I have encountered in this game. I would redo the POF story just to talk to him again. I don't think he has any ambient dialogue or regular dialogue, only during the story. I think it's Scholar Glokk is Skyward Reach.

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@"Tom.8029" said:When you do the Path of Fire story and get to the part in the Elon Riverlands, you talk to an Asura for information. He's literally the funniest npc I have encountered in this game. I would redo the POF story just to talk to him again. I don't think he has any ambient dialogue or regular dialogue, only during the story. I think it's Scholar Glokk is Skyward Reach.

Kind of related to this I think. The dialogues with Scholar Nimmin are some of the funniest in GW2 I found:

"Excuse me. I'm in need of information. I'm scouring the Riverlands for a place of special significance. It might be related to Vlast. Anything come to mind?"

Scholar Nimmin: Special significance? Well, I did have the most spectacular romantic encounter of my life on an overlook just thataway—

"Not quite like that. What I mean is—"

Scholar Nimmin: Let me set the scene for you!

"Please don't."

Scholar Nimmin: Sunset. I'm looking out over the Riverlands, brooding and pensive. A rebel with a heart of gold... If only she would notice.Scholar Nimmin: And just then: she arrives! Dressed to kill and wearing the most alluring fragrance. But why?

"Please stop talking for a moment."

Scholar Nimmin: Then I realize: This is no chance encounter. She's on a mission.Scholar Nimmin: And her sole objective: taming a heart that, by its very nature, must run free.

"Fantastic. I need to go now."

"I have a feeling I'm going to regret this, but I have another question for you. Do you know anything about a lost city located somewhere in the Riverlands?"

Scholar Nimmin: Lost city? How do you lose a city?Scholar Nimmin: I mean, I'm forgetful. I've lost plenty of things. But a city?

"Just...just answer the question, please."

Scholar Nimmin: Once I lost my favorite journal. Looked everywhere for it. And I never did find it, but you know what I did find?

"Please say "a lost city.""

Scholar Nimmin: Every single left sock I had ever misplaced. I swear, if it's not in the last place you look, it's...well, elsewhere.

"Fantastic. I need to go now."

"I have a feeling I'm going to regret this, but I have another question for you. I'm searching for a lost city called Kesho. What do you know about it?"

Scholar Nimmin: Kesho? Y'mean...oh. Wait. Kesho. I know who you're talking about.

"No, Kesho's a place—"

Scholar Nimmin: I met him at a krewe mixer some years ago, if memory serves. Short fellow, yes? Loud, reeking of solvent—

"Please. Stop talking."

Scholar Nimmin: ...And the most hideous laughter I've ever heard— (imitating laughter)

"Thanks. I'm walking away now. Why did I think that'd turn out differently this time?"

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@"ChampionMasquerade.5283" said:Probably in the ??? area in Jahai Bluffs when your character is completely out of it and comments on the softness of Rytlock's fur. It made ma do a double take when I first saw it

That had me laughing out loud! :smiley:I wish "someone" heard that and told Rytlock and i wish they've done more with it. :tongue:

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There are so so many. One that always makes me laugh a little is how Steward Gixx talks to Sieran.

Gixx: Magister Sieran! Yet again, you neglect your duty to go on an "adventure." You're completely out of control, you blasted weed!Gixx: But if I ever find out that you risk another novice's life on one of your little curiosities, I'll prune your ears. Mark my words!Gixx: Don't wheedle me, you leaf-addled reprobate. Why I tolerate... Oh. Oh. My goodness. This is fascinating. Tell me, was anything missing from the cave?Gixx: If this wasn't such an innovative creation, I'd toss you out on your twigs! As it is, you're both on probation. No argument.Gixx: Get out of here, and take this mad contraption with you. If you foul this up, I'll throw you to the termites, you pernicious petal-brain!

Also the ambient dialogue between Hero-Tron and Marcello.

Marcello DiGiacomo: Say, friend. We've been through a lot together, haven't we?Hero-Tron: Affirmative. Though—mutual—experiences—have—been—unpleasant.Marcello DiGiacomo: Yes well I was just wondering if you might know of any availabilities for entertainers such as myself?Hero-Tron: Searching...Searching...Searching. Position—not—found

But there is so much of it in the world I can't remember more.

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