Gone Too Soon- A GW2 Machinima

Hello everyone!The past week or so, I've been working on a very short GW2 machinima and I posted an unlisted rough draft to Youtube. Given that it was a rough draft, I've made quite a few changes from it and the final product which I have finalized but before I publish that, I was wondering if I could get some feedback or comments of what I have so far and if you guys think I should post the final copy.
Here is the link if you're interested in seeing the rough draft: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hlCoCC8t-k&feature=youtu.be

I do want to mention the most noticeable things I changed were I got rid of the text at the beginning along with a few of the recording glitches you'll see at around 1:35-1:50 ish.
Thank you guys!