Thank you so much for the patch servers!
Unfortunatly it's still not working, and remains frozen at this: https://gyazo.com/23a5dfc21cdb62a6a0c5d24f94cc4cc5
It's been stuck around 200,526 remaining files for about an hour, though will download 1-3 if I close and re-open the launcher.
I'm not sure what's gone wrong, but it sure is something rofl.