Day in the life of a [WvW] Player: First stop

[Fatherbliss.4701]

Hello my friends. This is the start of a journal series detailing the experiences of WvW as a brand new player. Engage humor. Set it to be stunning. Here we go on a wild ride of mistakes, horrific expectations and misgivings. Also trust your gut. Those lag spikes are meaningful...

 

Day 1

 

Having finally reached the pinnacle of leveling and hitting the massive achievement of level 80, our hero searches out portals into The Mists to see what all the fuss is about. After listening to some chatter in the public square of Lion’s Arch, Dr Fibbin Notchee has determined that there are multiple ways into this strange new land. 

 

“Hmmm. I’m slightly concerned that my mismatched gear isn’t quite up to par for this excursion. Yet we shall prevail!” 

 

The Doctor examines his pack closely. Today it resembled a large sloth on his back. It seemed to have a mind of its own and often was found changing forms in the night. After visiting the local haberdashery he had found some random symbols laying in the street that seemed to harm enemies more in the evening hours. But he wasn’t entirely sure. It could have been a play of the shadows instead. Regardless, this is as prepared as he could get. 

 

Somewhere on his calendar of events he had found an ad stating that the end of the work week was a time of celebration (and also collective moaning) called “Reset Night.” He wasn’t really sure precisely what that entailed. It sounded like an excellent place to start his sojourn into the unknown. All it said was to gather in Lion’s Arch about an hour before a prescribed time and look for a person in charge. They could either be designated as a cat or by a large symbol that looked like a tasty potato chip. Upside down. 

 

“What a bunch of strange people. Maybe they should have their local water supply tested for hallucinogens.” The Dr headed to the portals in the southern section of the city. The populace all seemed to be prepared for a mighty battle. There were large charr sitting in thrones. Some were masquerading as quaggan for some bizarre reason. There was a palpable sense of danger and heightened tension in the air. Naturally some individuals appeared to be severely inebriated. That was to be expected! Town drunks had a long standing history of being incredibly important in preparing for battle! Everyone knew that. 

 

Walking up to one portal that had the most people gathered, the Dr examined his surroundings closely. Doubt began to creep into his mind. The people around him were clearly veterans of many wars. Their weapons had a spectacular sheen to them. One person appeared to be cloaked in glitter, glowing balls of light weaving between those motes and also snow flakes were present. Their footfalls left mysteries prints on the ground that were pools of darkness. He had never found anything like this in his explorations of the history of this region. There also seemed to be a rather large amount of mustaches in this crowd. Some where large. Some small. Some curled up at the corners and were so voluminous the tips tickled the person standing next to them. 

 

After a brief period of time watching the locals the Dr noticed that everyone seemed to be chanting something. It sounded suspicious like “Efffff. Hit efffff now. Oooooooh its happening. Effffffff! EF!” What could that possibly mean? He was confused but started yelling it just to make sure he fit in properly. 

 

Suddenly, the entire crowd vanished through the portal. The Dr immediately noted that something seemed very strange about this entire event. Where did everyone go? Running forward into the portal resulted in absolutely nothing happening. A message flashed across the portal implying that it was full. Then a very commanding tone sounded across the area: “WOULD YOU LIKE TO WAIT IN THIS SUPER LONG LINE THAT MOVES AT A PACE APPROACHING STANDING STILL WHILE WE HAVE THESE LOVELY PARTING GIFTS FOR THOSE WHO DIDN’T CHOOSE THE RIGHT DOOR?” 

 

Not knowing what else to do he said yes. The proceeded to wait. There were a few other people milling about grumbling about capacities, something called LAG which sounded dreadful and discussing how balance didn’t really exist. Clearly this would require more study in the future. After waiting for two hours, visiting the crafting stations in town and being thoroughly confused by some very boisterous people nearby a mystical toilet (why on Tyria would anyone purposely seek that out he wondered) a tone sounded and he entered the portal. Very convenient since he had long since wandered away. 

 

Finally! The Dr was ready for action. Entering the mists there was a large crowd gathered just inside the portal talking about strategy. It did appear that they have already been in battle for some time now. Many were sorting through endless sacks of materials, scattering them on the ground to evaluate. There seemed to be a plethora of spoons available. Interesting. Listening in he found someone with a floating cat over their head, This person was an Asuran (not to be confused with an Acura which is a fancy charrmobile used only in special circumstances). Clearly this person was in charge due to their excessively large backpack, shining boots and an amulet that always pointed towards disaster. 

 

“Troops! Once again we have been, well, not exactly victorious. But we had a good time. Join us tomorrow night!” The commander then disappeared. 

 

Strange. The Dr had no idea what to make of this. So he endeavored to head out on his own. Right by the area he entered there was a glowing board that stated something called “Dailies” were an option to do for two gold coins and a smattering of other random items that sounded like thrift store leftovers. Still, the gold would be nice. No one pays for education out here in the field. He had briefly toyed with becoming a bard for some extra coin. This certainly was a more lucrative venture. 

 

Leaving the entrance to this area on foot, he noted a number of people had creatures to ride upon! He wondered how they had tamed such magnificent creatures. He called after a few people who leaped on by but they were otherwise occupied by looking at a map while riding. That made sense. One didn’t casually ride into battle without knowing the proper cardinal directions. 

 

There was a drop off point that led down to a grassy area...which was full of wolves. Dr Fibbin couldn’t conceive of any reason why so many people leapt by on their gigantic beasts only to leave these clear and present dangers laying about. Up ahead he saw a target for one of the events. A gigantic warg. Frightful beast. The Dr approached cautiously taking out his rifle. He aimed, squeezed the trigger and was instantly rooted in place. Howling out from the waterfront five brigands immobilized him. Clearly using some sort of sorcery. One sneered, shooting him in the torso while another circled the other direction. Then he felt a deep stab wound in his back while simultaneously a warrior spun into view offering a pirouette before slamming into him. He could hear giggling as poison dumped all around him. Laying there, gasping for breath, he could only watch as they gutted the warg and left him to slowly fall into slumber. What an odd group...they didn’t even take his possessions. 

 

Much to his surprise, he woke back by the portal area. Was this the afterlife? No, no it wouldn’t be populated by so many people standing about doing - whatever it was they were doing. It looked like some sort of strange dance around a table. They clearly were enjoying themselves. The Dr admitted to himself that this was clearly enough excitement for one day. Packing up his belongings he realized he had no real clue how to get back to where he came into this place. Upon inquiring, someone suggested that he “Alt-F4.” Whatever that meant. Ah well he would go back through the portal and do more research regarding this land. His gyros obediently followed along buzzing around seeking solace in his gravitational field. 

 

[Alec.8546]

We need more stories of this Dr Fibbin Notchee! This is phenomenal

[Rowena.9375]

Hear, hear!  Tell us more of your escapades, my dear man!