I figure i should update this one last time.
Yes i did figure out how to effectively use mesmer, including virtuoso. But i wasn't having very much fun with any of the elite specializations. Mirage was okay, if a bit bland. However the most fun i had playing mesmer was with the core setup with my greatsword, which is probably not going to cut it if i choose to do anything more than open world content. Virtuoso was kind of fun, and i learned how to survive while playing that, but it was starting to hurt my hands with how often i was using bladesongs. Didn't give much thought to Chronomancer because all the guides and videos on it kept saying it was very complex, and that doesn't interest me.
I feel like virtuoso might be great for a controller setup. I might try that later after i figure out how to map the controller like people do for the steamdeck.
For the meanwhile, i've gone back to my necromancer. Reaper go brrrrrr.... Seriously, it's nice to have pets out that don't go away when i've killed something, and not even need them to take hits to the face.