Viskan.5874 Posted December 5, 2018 Share Posted December 5, 2018 I hope this isn't that off topic, but I made a playable race designed for an MMO. Although it can be modified to be used in any established MMO franchise or new IP, I used specific examples in the race's history and lore referencing a hypothetical Guild Wars 3. I would appreciate any feedback. It can be about how well it fits the setting of Guild Wars, if any concepts are too ludicrous, spelling and grammar errors, anything. I understand if this thread gets taken down with for being too off topic and I will take it to where it'll be more appropriate. You can read and comment by clicking the link. Be warned, its 43 pages and 17441 words long. Thank you all for your time. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1JlvL_eBrMMLTqK8-XfnQneQrXVAHxOYFfcN_hUmdHpI/edit?usp=sharing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Viskan.5874 Posted December 5, 2018 Author Share Posted December 5, 2018 I will try to answer questions as soon as I can when my schedule allows it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Illconceived Was Na.9781 Posted December 5, 2018 Share Posted December 5, 2018 Be warned, its 43 pages and 17441 words longDo you think you might offer a summary here? I don't know that many people would be willing to follow a link without having some idea of what one might find. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Viskan.5874 Posted December 5, 2018 Author Share Posted December 5, 2018 @Illconceived Was Na.9781 said:Be warned, its 43 pages and 17441 words longDo you think you might offer a summary here? I don't know that many people would be willing to follow a link without having some idea of what one might find.Sure. It's basically an insectoid race born from wild magic caused by the awakening of the dragons. The googledoc features: their appearance, biology, societal structure, worldviews, culture, weaponry, armor, enemy and ally NPCs, their standing in relation to other races, conflict with the other races, and their species' development. It's mainly general information. It may be boring if you're not into that sort of thing, so I understand if it takes a while to read or if it seems like too much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Illconceived Was Na.9781 Posted December 5, 2018 Share Posted December 5, 2018 I like the concept: not like other races, not native to GW1's Tyria, a solid lore reason that we didn't see them before now. I might actually take a deep look.(I'm sure you're already aware of the unlikeliness of any new race, especially one that would require a new 'rig' for skeleton and new armor.)As a presentation note: you might want to consider using Google's heading styles, so that people can use the Document Outline view mode to skip around. At first glance, it seems well organized and it's a shame not to allow the reader to make use of that.For example, in skimming, I noticed that there's a telepathic component to racial communication (which varies depending on 'rank' within the community) and I wanted to skip back to the section on the player character to see if & how you addressed that. Except I couldn't remember exactly where that was. An outsider isn't likely to keep track of 17k words; you can usually figure most people who get that far might retain 1.7k words of general concepts, and maybe 150-500 words of any details. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Viskan.5874 Posted December 5, 2018 Author Share Posted December 5, 2018 @Illconceived Was Na.9781 said:(I'm sure you're already aware of the unlikeliness of any new race, especially one that would require a new 'rig' for skeleton and new armor.)I am aware of the unlikeliness. I've had an idea like this for a while now and I thought the Guild Wars setting might be a good starting point to experiment.@Illconceived Was Na.9781 said:As a presentation note: you might want to consider using Google's heading styles, so that people can use the Document Outline view mode to skip around. At first glance, it seems well organized and it's a shame not to allow the reader to make use of that.Thank you for the feedback. I'll try to set that up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Viskan.5874 Posted December 7, 2018 Author Share Posted December 7, 2018 Forgot to post this yesterday. The document has been outlined for ease of reading. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Illconceived Was Na.9781 Posted December 7, 2018 Share Posted December 7, 2018 @Viskan.5874 said:Forgot to post this yesterday. The document has been outlined for ease of reading.It is much easier to navigate now :)Well done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Viskan.5874 Posted December 19, 2018 Author Share Posted December 19, 2018 I've been wondering. Given that the document may be slightly off topic, do you guys have any good forums or sites to post this idea on? I already did on Reddit. Anything else? Also, out of curiosity, how far are you readers into this? I'm sorry if this is rude or pushy. I just want to see how much of this monstrosity can be consumed at a time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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