Verbal abuse

[Abyeternity.5609]

34 minutes ago, JTGuevara.9018 said:

Yes, I do want to challenge that. "Realistic" you say? I'm going to use an analogy. So if someone deliberately spills hot coffee on me, then does it magically become a problem when I say "ouch!"? Because that is essentially what you're arguing. You put the burden on the troubled and not the troublemaker. But go ahead, keep digging. I leave it up to everyone else to opine on this exchange after I dismantle this elementary "argument". Again, ignoring a problem does not make it go away. Yes, these players should be suspended, even banned. I guess that makes me the "big bad tyrant" huh? lolz

Yes it does make it go away. If you ignore/block said player, they cannot do anything to you, other than kill you in game, which is part of the game.

So you want toxic behaviour suspended/banned, who gets to decide on what’s toxic, who gets to decide on punishment? So under your rule, calling someone a bad player thus hurting someone else’s feeling and being toxic is punishable with account suspension. Come on, that’s not realistic. 

 

[Kuma.1503]

We have a weird culture, after the big SJW fiasco, people have adapted to be especially harsh towards more sensitive individuals. I'm a Highly Sensitive person myself so I understand the struggle. Some of us are just wired different. 

That being said, I've developed a tolerance to this stuff after playing enough League of Legends, but it still gets to me from time to time. 

 

The best advice I can give you:

• Turn off Chat
• Hide chat bubbles
• Change status to invisible

It won't stop people from tbagging or emote spamming at you, but most 99% of people get out their toxicity in chat instead of through emotes, so that should make things better for you.

Final tip is to play with a friend. 1 less potential jerk on your team, and if the games get rough you have company to make it more bearable. 

Edited October 23, 2021 by Kuma.1503

[GoldenPants.1870]

On 10/22/2021 at 5:48 AM, Abyeternity.5609 said:

You are wasting your breath. The only help they want is uncle anet’s help with banning and suspending players when they get their feelings hurt.  They want to be hand held, spoon fed and babied, they do not want to stand on their own two feet. 

That’s a funny way to type that I want people to follow rules set up by the contract you signed when you created your Guild Wars 2 account to be a decent person to others.

 

I used to be toxic, to blame everyone else for my mistakes, guess what I did ? I learned to take responsibility for my own failures instead of becoming a manchild and blaming everyone and thus making their day worse when they had nothing to do with it.

 

But pop off I guess.

 

On 10/22/2021 at 2:49 AM, Lacdanon.1483 said:

It's not about what should or shouldn't be happening it is about what is and will happen, you can't control people, there will always be jerks what you can control is yourself and how you handle dealing with said jerks.

I mean people always go ”Oh but they should learn how to control their emotions !” all the times towards the victim, but people never say that the abuser should learn how to control his emotions so they do not spill over into a toxic sludge onto other people.

 

People should call out and combat verbal abuse but 90% of players will just not say anything, its sad but its reality.

 

22 hours ago, Abyeternity.5609 said:

That’s your take, my take is that people need to grow up and stand on their own two feet. If you are an adult, act like it.

That’s funny, adults don’t blame others, adults don’t put down others for their own mistakes and adults does for sure 100% do not go on to verbally abuse people. 

 

They take responsibility for their own actions, and follow the rules set up so people can have a fun time. Guess who is not doing that ? Let me tell you, it’s nor the people that get targeted by the abuse.

 

15 hours ago, Genesis.5169 said:

Toxicity is not an issue

Not surprised you would type that.

 

15 hours ago, Genesis.5169 said:

, if people get mad they care that shows a healthy game mode also shows people on your team wants to win

If people get mad it shows they do not not have the emotional maturity to deal with a loss and get on with it, instead they go on to blame others, and never grow or develop, but go on, I guess.

 

15 hours ago, Genesis.5169 said:

You people want a soulless dystopian society where nobody can do anything at all you people are the real toxic people

Maybe you should cancel your Guild Wars 2 account then, because it’s literally against the terms of service to use abusive language of any kind.. Thus making you agree that you also want this ”Dystopian Society”.

 

You do read things before you sign them, right ?

 

15 hours ago, Genesis.5169 said:

Nothing can be done about getting mad at bad players as long as people care about winning.

Growing up and learning how to deal with losses in a reasonable way. It’s a game, it really shouldn’t make you into a raging volcano if you lose a match or two.

 

15 hours ago, Genesis.5169 said:

You guys should just ask to take the scoreboard off and the ending screen so nobody knows who wins so you get what you all have been wanting all your lives a safe space on the internet.

No because unlike people who rage the scoreboard can be used to measure your actual performance, and unlike people who rage it is an intentional game design, it’s not toxic, it simply showed how you performed. That’s it, that’s all it does.

 

 

 

 

[GoldenPants.1870]

4 hours ago, Abyeternity.5609 said:

So you want toxic behaviour suspended/banned, who gets to decide on what’s toxic, who gets to decide on punishment?

Arenanet does, and infact they already have decided that.

 

4 hours ago, Abyeternity.5609 said:

So under your rule, calling someone a bad player thus hurting someone else’s feeling and being toxic is punishable with account suspension. Come on, that’s not realistic. 

No, infact it is in the code of conduct.

 

”While using our Services, you must respect the rights of others and their rights to use and enjoy the Services. To this end, you may not defraud, harass, threaten, intimidate, or cause distress and/or unwanted attention to other users of the Services. Similarly, you may not use communications facilities made available as part of the Services to “troll” other users or NCSOFT personnel, post or share memetic images or phrases without substantive content, intentionally cause unrest among users of the Services, or otherwise be disruptive.”

 

”In connection with our Services, you may not use sexually explicit, harmful, threatening, abusive, defamatory, obscene, hateful, or racially or ethnically offensive language.”

 

”The User Agreement contains other requirements that, with this Code of Conduct and other Community Standards, govern your use of the Services. If we determine in our discretion that you failed to comply with our User Agreement (defined below) or this Code of Conduct or other Community Standards, we may limit, suspend, or terminate your access to the Services and/or take other remedial actions that we deem appropriate (e.g., removing violative posts from forums, muting players, etc.).”

 

 

https://us.ncsoft.com/en-us/legal/ncsoft/code-of-conduct

 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

 

[Abyeternity.5609]

@GoldenPants.1870 the key words are “if we determine in our discretion that you failed to comply with our User Agreement ”

Which means that anet doesn’t have to enforce anything if they choose not to and expecting them to do so in unrealistic which again brings us all back to the original point that the best way of dealing with toxic behaviour is to ignore the person, harden up and get over it. 

Edited October 23, 2021 by Abyeternity.5609

[GoldenPants.1870]

1 minute ago, Abyeternity.5609 said:

Which means that anet doesn’t have to enforce anything if they choose not to and expecting them to do so in unrealistic which again brings us all back to the original point that the best way of dealing with toxic behaviour is to ignore the person, harden up and get over it. 

You missed the other part I linked, you know the one about how it is against the code of conduct to use derogatory words against other players, and how that is fully reportable. ”Ignoring someone” won’t fix the problem, that just pushes it into another player, then another one, then another one. The problem is people do not often report verbal abuse for whatever reason, I cannot say, but if people started doing that, you’d probably see a lot of muting going on ingame. 

[Abyeternity.5609]

Just now, GoldenPants.1870 said:

You missed the other part I linked, you know the one about how it is against the code of conduct to use derogatory words against other players, and how that is fully reportable. ”Ignoring someone” won’t fix the problem, that just pushes it into another player, then another one, then another one. The problem is people do not often report verbal abuse for whatever reason, I cannot say, but if people started doing that, you’d probably see a lot of muting going on ingame. 

It’s only against the code if anet decides it is. You don’t get to decide, I don’t get to decide, it’s anet decision if what someone says to another is against the code, and whether any action will be taken.

[GoldenPants.1870]

1 minute ago, Abyeternity.5609 said:

It’s only against the code if anet decides it is. You don’t get to decide, I don’t get to decide, it’s anet decision if what someone says to another is against the code, and whether any action will be taken.

It’s always against the code of conduct, but anet decides if they will enforce it or not, it’s two different things.

 

Besides it’s quite funny how you keep blaming the victims of the verbal abuse like it would be their fault they got abused, guess what ”Ignoring” someone won’t do much, because

 

1. It just pushes the toxic person to someone else and ruins their day and 

2. The person has already spewed their vile words onto someone who has not done anything to them at all.

 

Blame and responsibility should purely be on the ones who are abusive, more people should report them, and anet should be faster and giving them harder and longer punishments for being toxic.

 

Let me tell you, the people who need to ”Harden up” or ”grow up” and ”stop crying” is not the people on the recieving end. It’s the toxic people.

[Abyeternity.5609]

32 minutes ago, GoldenPants.1870 said:

It’s always against the code of conduct, but anet decides if they will enforce it or not, it’s two different things.

Besides it’s quite funny how you keep blaming the victims of the verbal abuse like it would be their fault they got abused, guess what ”Ignoring” someone won’t do much, because

1. It just pushes the toxic person to someone else and ruins their day and 

2. The person has already spewed their vile words onto someone who has not done anything to them at all.

Blame and responsibility should purely be on the ones who are abusive, more people should report them, and anet should be faster and giving them harder and longer punishments for being toxic.

Let me tell you, the people who need to ”Harden up” or ”grow up” and ”stop crying” is not the people on the recieving end. It’s the toxic people.

Well you know what they say about rules… lol

I’m not victim blaming, I’m being realistic about toxic behaviour and the best way for people complaining about it to deal with it.  You guys just don’t want to accept the reality of it and want people banned. If anet doesn’t have the resources to deal with all the other more concerning problems in this game, what makes you think they have the resources to protect people’s feelings from being hurt? 

You are after all playing a competitive game, there will always be a level of toxicity to it, not just in gw2, but in every online multiplier game ever and you cannot expect developers to deal with every hurt feeling, yeah for sure take racism, discrimination, and sexual abuse seriously, but 99.9% of toxic behaviour has to be taken with a grain of salt which again brings me back to saying the best dealing with it is ignoring the muppets doing it.

You guys can idealise a perfect world, but it just isn’t going to happen. And if we were living in a perfect world, every single one of us would be in breach of the code of conduct as I’m 100% sure everyone has typed a swear word at some point, which is against the code lol

Edited October 23, 2021 by Abyeternity.5609

[GoldenPants.1870]

2 hours ago, Abyeternity.5609 said:

I’m not victim blaming

But you are, you literally are, you put everything on the person that was just insulted instead of the person who was on the recieving end of the toxic barrage, tell me, do you report sexist, racist, or offensive language when you see it ? If someone is being downright nasty to your teammates in a spvp game ?

 

2 hours ago, Abyeternity.5609 said:

I’m being realistic about toxic behaviour and the best way for people complaining about it to deal with it.

The beat way to deal with it is if everyone goes and reports the person.  Ignoring them again juat pushes said vile person onto another person.

 

 

2 hours ago, Abyeternity.5609 said:

You guys just don’t want to accept the reality of it and want people banned. If anet doesn’t have the resources to deal with all the other more concerning problems in this game, what makes you think they have the resources to protect people’s feelings from being hurt? 

Yeah, because toxic people absolutley have no rights to be ingame, it only fosters a bad community, the proof is the PvP scene. It’s dead. The more these people get reported the easier its for anet to mute the toxic people.

 

2 hours ago, Abyeternity.5609 said:

You are after all playing a competitive game, there will always be a level of toxicity to it, not just in gw

It really doesn’t have to be if people were mature adults that were able to accept losses and move on. It is THEY who are the problem, not the people who get abused.

 

Also ”competetive mode”, look how abandoned the scene is on NA because of the rampant toxic people combined with wintraders.

 

Toxicity is a rampart problem, don’t pretend it is not.

 

2 hours ago, Abyeternity.5609 said:

but in every online multiplier game ever and you cannot expect developers to deal with every hurt feeling, yeah for sure take racism, discrimination, and sexual abuse seriously, but 99.9% of toxic behaviour has to be taken with a grain of salt which again brings me back to saying the best dealing with it is ignoring the muppets doing it.

Good then that the developers are not in charge of enforcing the CoC then, it’s up to another team, oh I dunno… Gamemasters and customer support etc.

 

And no, no toxic behaviour should be taken with a grain of salt, people should be able to handle losing in games without becoming a vile being that is bent on nothing more than destroying the fun of others. Which happens.

 

Again, people need to REPORT more, not ignore it. Ignoring problems will never work out in the end.

 

2 hours ago, Abyeternity.5609 said:

You guys can idealise a perfect world

Where people should follow the rules they agreed to. If that is a perfect world then pop off I guess.

 

2 hours ago, Abyeternity.5609 said:

And if we were living in a perfect world, every single one of us would be in breach of the code of conduct as I’m 100% sure everyone has typed a swear word at some point, which is against the code lol

Yeah, I used to, I used to be a very vile and toxic person myself, but I grew up because I realized people a bad person towards others is literally benefitting no one, least the person I vent my frustration towards.

[GoldenPants.1870]

3 minutes ago, Abyeternity.5609 said:

It’s useless arguing with you people about this, anet, you can go ahead and ban everyone now. That’s what these people want.

Ah, arguing in bad faith, should've known. Oh well. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Kuya.6495]

Set your status to offline and turn off chat when playing pvp matches if the comments bother you. It's not like you were missing much by ignoring team/map/whisper chat in pvp.  It will make pvp more enjoyable for you. And if you want to play better, there are guides and pvp streamers online you can look at, rather than taking advice from an angry rando.

Edited October 23, 2021 by Kuya.6495

[Abyeternity.5609]

17 minutes ago, GoldenPants.1870 said:

Ah, arguing in bad faith, should've known. Oh well. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

There is no arguing with you people, you guys are blinded by your tears so I’m going to do something more constructive like bang my head against a wall.

Good luck with collecting those infinity stones and using them to enforce your will on the rest of us.

[frareanselm.1925]

If you go into the most competitive mode just to do the dailies without being good at it, expect criticisms, probably you deserve them. You can do dailies without disturbing ranked tournaments where people take it seriously.

[Kuma.1503]

11 hours ago, GoldenPants.1870 said:

Let me tell you, the people who need to ”Harden up” or ”grow up” and ”stop crying” is not the people on the recieving end. It’s the toxic people.

You should rename yourself to Golden Facts. 

I agree with this on many different levels.

One, as someone who has dealt with abusive parents in the past and had to learn not to blame myself for it. Blaming the victim is a sneaky deflection abusers like to do to keep getting away with their behavior.

And Two as someone who, unfortunately, gives into the sweet temptation of blaming others or the world around me when things go wrong. I notice it mostly when playing league. I play Volibear who, for those who don't play league, has a power curve that makes him very strong early, and significantly weaker in the mid to late game. This puts the pressure on you to end the game early before the opposing team starts to get stronger than you. 

This makes mistakes feel especially punishing, and it can be extremely frustrating when you're smashing someone to end up losing that lead because of one mistake. 

Frustrating enough that blaming other people instead becomes like a sweet siren's call.

"I was doing so well, but my team are a bunch of monkies, if they wouldn't feed so much my stupid death wouldn't matter"

Ignoring the fact that I'm playing with friends who are significantly lower ranked than me so I'm going to fight people below my skill level while they are fighting people above their skill level. Totally worth getting upset at your real life friends over.

It takes real emotional maturity not to give into that, and it's hard. I can say that from experience. 

Edited October 23, 2021 by Kuma.1503

[duck.6804]

Sticks and stones may break bones words can't.

[Faux Play.6104]

On 10/18/2021 at 11:44 AM, Fny.4502 said:

Oh how I wish reporting people for verbal abuse actually did something. 

 

I am not that good at pvp, I admit it. I basically do it for dailies, while my main focus is pve. I generally end up somewhere in gold. But hey, even if I'm not all that great, I don't deserve the kind of abuse I've been getting the last few days. What the kitten is wrong with people? Going to such lengths to single someone out, spew insults, and generally be just kitten MEAN in every way they can - what do they get out of it? Do they seriously enjoy making people feel bad? The last one was very clear, he told me outright that he wanted me to feel as bad as possible. Are these people kittening sociopaths? That last one also declared he hoped I'd uninstall the game, because I had just "ruined" the game for 9 other players. How? I dunno, seemed to me I died about as often as everyone else on that team, and I still had some top stats. But I used a heal skill he didn't approve of, so I suppose that "ruined" it for everyone. Including the enemy team, somehow. 

 

*deep breath*

 

This is a rant, and I'm sorry. But I can't take this any more. I'm fragile enough as it is, and PvP is currently making me break down in tears every kittening day. This used to be fun. This is supposed to be fun. But... no. 

 

I'm pretty sure verbal abuse is the only thing that gets accounts suspended from the report feature.  

[Raizel.1839]

On 10/18/2021 at 11:41 PM, Touchme.1097 said:

Stop telling people to man up, if you can't write something nice don't write anything at all. 

Why not? Sooner or later everyone will have to toughen up, you can't expect to be babysitted for all life.

Edited October 24, 2021 by Raizel.1839

[Touchme.1097]

2 hours ago, Raizel.1839 said:

Why not? Sooner or later everyone will have to toughen up, you can't expect to be babysitted for all life.

Sorry to burst your bubble but "growing a thicker skin" won't protect you from verbal abuse and toxicity, all this nonsense about suggesting others to grow a thick skin is just an excuse to justify the narcissistic verbal abuse and toxicity used by immature and mean gamers whose sole purpose is to erase someone else's humanity. So no, I am not tolerating toxicity anymore and neither the gaming companies should. 

Some of the biggest gaming companies already formed an Alliance to combat toxicity in the gaming communities, the toxic folks will have to grow up and start behaving in the future.

Major Gaming Companies Form Alliance to Combat Toxicity (gamerant.com)

Even ArenaNet can join the Fair Play Alliance, here is the link to join them if anyone is interested:

Members – Fair Play Alliance

Let's make the gaming world a better environment.

Edited October 24, 2021 by Touchme.1097
Grammar correction

[Kuma.1503]

Funny thing about this thread, is that both sides are technically right. 

In general, growing a thick enough skin to shrug off harsh words and unconstructive critisism is a useful tool for improving your well being. A few harsh words shouldn't be enough to destroy your self-esteem. 

At the same time, people who cannot handle their negative emotions and choose to lash out in chat have just as much if not more "toughening up" to do as the people they berate. Dealing with those negative emotions takes emotional stregnth. Coping with a bruised ego takes maturity. 

Those things are hard and uncomfortable so many of us choose to lash out instead. That's understandable, we're only human. 

But notice that neither of these two statements, if true, actually contradict. 

Whether or not OP should grow a thicker skin or not does not excuse toxicity.

Some degree of smack talk is fine and expected, you see it in any completive sport. There's even an "unspoken code" when it comes to smack talk, it can be fun and help add color to the community. 

But there's a line between taunts and toxicity. 

In short

If someone cannot handle a taunt, that's on them. If someone help but be toxic that's on them.

[JTGuevara.9018]

On 10/22/2021 at 7:47 PM, Abyeternity.5609 said:

Yes it does make it go away. If you ignore/block said player, they cannot do anything to you, other than kill you in game, which is part of the game.

So you want toxic behaviour suspended/banned, who gets to decide on what’s toxic, who gets to decide on punishment? So under your rule, calling someone a bad player thus hurting someone else’s feeling and being toxic is punishable with account suspension. Come on, that’s not realistic. 

 

 

HAH! Oh really? You would be wrong then! That is merely passing the buck.  It is shifting the problem to someone else.

[GoldenPants.1870]

5 hours ago, Kuma.1503 said:

Some degree of smack talk is fine and expected, you see it in any completive sport.

True, but there’s a big difference between the two, and even when riling someone up there’s a right and wrong way to do it.

 

”Come on, is that the best you got ?!”

 

versus

 

”You suck.”

 

Even then, most people choose the toxic way calling people all types of nasty words, which is the problem, healthy competition spirit is not.

 

5 hours ago, Kuma.1503 said:

At the same time, people who cannot handle their negative emotions and choose to lash out in chat have just as much if not more "toughening up" to do as the people they berate.

”Nooo I lost in a virtual game… Do I grow, and learn from my mistake and realize that I can’t always win becuase there are certain factors out of my control…. Or do I fully blame my teammates, refuse to learn, and turn toxic instead ?”

 

Option 2 seems to be the preferred one.