The Friendslist, Why I think it needs to be changed [Merged]

[kharmin.7683]

1 hour ago, Dravvi.3146 said:

PS forum moderators merged the thread, the updated portion starts on page 5, don't think they wanted me bringing this back up but the devs have yet to solve the issue overall so I am going to.

Creating a new thread on the same topic as an existing one is against the CoC, so that's probably why.  Probably not that they didn't want it brought up again... just not in a new thread.  /shrug

Edited December 22, 2022 by kharmin.7683

[Zaviamoon.4569]

I have never liked the follow-on friend list. I have few friends I really do not like people lol, but I have a long list of people following me these are people I have never talked to or did anything in game with. It's just creepy and pretty much the same as stalking someone you do not know.

[Birdie.3869]

I just want to throw out there that if you have friends or guildmates or followers that are hiding "offline" all you need to do to find them is sort by location and hover over the top offline members. The ones who are "offline" will have their location pop up with their other usual info. That seems like something that should be fixed to me.

 

This doesn't work with blocked people though, as no info appears on hover over. So remember to block your followers if you play wvw a lot and feel you're being stalked even while offline.

 

And yes it's not uncommon for wvw opponents to add you to friends to see your location, I've had it happen to me several times and I don't even play wvw that much. And yes I know they're doing it, my followers list is empty and suddenly I get a follower after a fight in wvw who's "offline" in wvw when hovered.

 

Blocking them does solve the issue but Anet could still make it a little easier to manage the friends list though, I'm sure I've blocked people who've wanted to be friends the same as people who wanted to follow me around the borderlands with their friends.

I like the idea of invaders names not showing up in the friends/followers list while in wvw, it would make it much easier to see if it's friend or foe adding me.

[Charall.4710]

9 hours ago, Birdie.3869 said:

I just want to throw out there that if you have friends or guildmates or followers that are hiding "offline" all you need to do to find them is sort by location and hover over the top offline members. The ones who are "offline" will have their location pop up with their other usual info. That seems like something that should be fixed to me.

 

This doesn't work with blocked people though, as no info appears on hover over. So remember to block your followers if you play wvw a lot and feel you're being stalked even while offline.

 

And yes it's not uncommon for wvw opponents to add you to friends to see your location, I've had it happen to me several times and I don't even play wvw that much. And yes I know they're doing it, my followers list is empty and suddenly I get a follower after a fight in wvw who's "offline" in wvw when hovered.

 

Blocking them does solve the issue but Anet could still make it a little easier to manage the friends list though, I'm sure I've blocked people who've wanted to be friends the same as people who wanted to follow me around the borderlands with their friends.

I like the idea of invaders names not showing up in the friends/followers list while in wvw, it would make it much easier to see if it's friend or foe adding me.

Yeah and going offline should never be the solution anyways as I have said before way back in this very post, As for blocking? It didn't before but does now sorta, they never announced it but once you block someone the other player cannot add you to their friendslist anymore nor can they message you or invite you period as usual.

So they are slowly fixing that side of things, but I think the majority of people who are going against the idea of them updating the friendslist are those who have several hundred friends and are afraid the system change would kill their friendslist.

It would not not neccessarily be the case, removing the followers list and making it a request system would secure it but they could also retroactively make it so those who have mutually added one another would appear on the list where as those that didn't would be removed.

Edited December 23, 2022 by Dravvi.3146

[Charall.4710]

On 12/22/2022 at 1:24 PM, Zaviamoon.4569 said:

I have never liked the follow-on friend list. I have few friends I really do not like people lol, but I have a long list of people following me these are people I have never talked to or did anything in game with. It's just creepy and pretty much the same as stalking someone you do not know.

This is also a thing I agree with, it's just kinda weird and stalker-ish yeah.

[Rongaron.9213]

Ok but what about player who just kept follows you in wvw and demands 50 gold each time he killes you to leave you alone? 

 

Edited June 14, 2023 by Rongaron.9213

[Nine Inch Snails.7963]

28 minutes ago, Rongaron.9213 said:

Ok but what about player who just kept follows you in wvw and demands 50 gold each time he killes you to leave you alone? 

 

Laugh at them. 

[Rongaron.9213]

well it would be not easy if not fact that player kept doing that, is not count as harrasment or something?

 

[Nine Inch Snails.7963]

1 minute ago, Rongaron.9213 said:

well it would be not easy if not fact that player kept doing that, is not count as harrasment or something?

 

Players are allowed to kill players from other servers in WvW.  That is part of that game mode.  If someone kills you and demands 50 gold not to kill you ignore it. Then do what you need to in WvW to not get killed by them.  If you can't deal with that then stick to PvE.

[Rongaron.9213]

i know its part of mode, i get that, but what if stalker follows you even to jumping puzzle just to torment you, even make exploid to get you out of safe zone (i mentioned stalker is thief?)

 

[Nine Inch Snails.7963]

4 minutes ago, Rongaron.9213 said:

i know its part of mode, i get that, but what if stalker follows you even to jumping puzzle just to torment you, even make exploid to get you out of safe zone (i mentioned stalker is thief?)

 

Well there was a change some time ago.  If you block someone that has added you to their friend list it removes you from their friend list.  So that should make it harder for them to follow you around. 

[Rongaron.9213]

ok thanks, planned to asked if there are way to do so, thanks again

[Aelin.9317]

I think some people are hearing harassment and just thinking of instances where someone is mean to you once and then you have to block them and that's the end of it.

I had to report someone for harassment after blocking a main account, then their second account they used to contact me and again later they used a third account after I blocked the second one. This is the kind of harassment that is enabled by allowing anyone to add you to their friend list and having no options to block mails etc from strangers. And it took two reports from me for them to hand out any ban to that individual. Something is better than nothing I suppose. 

I will say the in game report for abuse seems to do absolutely nothing, there are known players on my server that are regularly abusive in WvW and never once have they been punished. The complete lack of consequences for these people only encourages them more to treat people like garbage. 

[Charall.4710]

Just an update, very few changes have been made regarding this but I am still an advocate for this change 2 years after posting it.

[Cynder.2509]

It would be nice if they expanded the blockist. I hit the cap every day and I have to unblock people to block new ones which sucks. I don't want any interaction with these people anywhere. 
Also they should work on the system that allows blocked players to still join your squads and groups through lfg. There's a reason why I blocked them but they still keep coming in. 

[Charall.4710]

Update several months later, blacklisting now removes you from a players followers list. Preventing them from adding you to their friendslist in the future.

[Charall.4710]

Next up on the list of changes I would like to see before this thread actually stops getting replied to:

• Removal of the followers list
• Change from a friends list to a friend request system with a popup confirmation that has a "Accept" or "Deny" option to add someone.

If these changes are implemented, the currently outdated and easily abusable system would definitely be fixed. I am still an advocate for this.

Edited March 18 by Charall.4710

[VAHNeunzehnsechundsiebzig.]

no, just no.

The follower list is a valuable tool for me. I mentor a lot. I help others a lot. They following me helps them to see if I am online and available. I do not need those people on my friends list. I don't go looking for them unless they talk to me first. I do not care what they do. My friendslist is long enough as it is. Them following me is valuable.

Also if I talk to a f2p player and see that they start following me, I add them, so they can whisper me in the future. Later, when they are not new anymore and have not talked to me in a long time, I remove them. They can still follow me. They can still contact me if they wish. Which is fine and helpful. 

Charall, I mentor a lot in starter maps. I do wvw a lot. Guess what never happened to me: harassment.

Some trolling? Sure! Some salty whispers? Yes! And I cherish them. Harassment? No. Never. 

So if you are 'suffering' from 'harassment', I would like you to do two things:

- define harassment for me

- think about the possibility that it is your behaviour that makes people being hostile to you. 

[EphemeralWallaby.7643]

13 hours ago, VAHNeunzehnsechundsiebzig. said:

no, just no.

The follower list is a valuable tool for me. I mentor a lot. I help others a lot. They following me helps them to see if I am online and available. I do not need those people on my friends list. I don't go looking for them unless they talk to me first. I do not care what they do. My friendslist is long enough as it is. Them following me is valuable.

Also if I talk to a f2p player and see that they start following me, I add them, so they can whisper me in the future. Later, when they are not new anymore and have not talked to me in a long time, I remove them. They can still follow me. They can still contact me if they wish. Which is fine and helpful. 

Charall, I mentor a lot in starter maps. I do wvw a lot. Guess what never happened to me: harassment.

Some trolling? Sure! Some salty whispers? Yes! And I cherish them. Harassment? No. Never. 

So if you are 'suffering' from 'harassment', I would like you to do two things:

- define harassment for me

- think about the possibility that it is your behaviour that makes people being hostile to you. 

I appreciated reading your perspective and experience right up until the end.  It's never appropriate or constructive to take up a position that blames a victim.

~EpWa

Edited March 19 by EphemeralWallaby.7643

[Chyro.1462]

A recent experience makes me agree with the initial post of this topic. A setting that prevents random players from whispering you or sending you mails would be very appreciated. I don't really want to receive mails from players I didn't add to my friendlist first. Some guy seriously bothered to make an alt char (with an obvious throwaway name like Abdferwefe) just to send me a harrassment mail and then block me so I couldn't even respond. Because I wrote a 'vomit inducing response' in a convergence squad chat when they were talking about players being afk (my chat line was pretty much 'if you meant me standing around a bit, I was just afk for 30sec to write a cute wake-up text to my bf'). Like.. I don't mind if some dude wants to block me for that, am happy to never have contact with such a person. But having to read their harrassment mail after they already blocked me was a very negative experience and seems like quite toxic behavior.

[VAHNeunzehnsechundsiebzig.]

6 hours ago, EphemeralWallaby.7643 said:

I appreciated reading your perspective and experience right up until the end.  It's never appropriate or constructive to take up a position that blames a victim.

~EpWa

yes, but no. Let me give you examples:

You do Tarir, one group burns down their side, despite being told several times in map chat not to, because the other three are not ready. They get critized in mapchat afterwards.

Some of those will feel victimized and 'harassed'. They are not.

You do events in starter maps with newbies. Some high level players swoop in on their mounts and kill all the mobs before the new players have a chance to tag them. So they do get 0 xp. You call that behaviour out. Harassment? No. Well deserved critizism? Yes.

Some people in this very forum feel 'harassed' because people disagree with them!

Not everytime someone calls you out for your behaviour it is harassment. But some people react so badly to critizism or disagreement, they feel violated. 

That is why I asked OP to define harassment.

Also in many years I never experienced it. I don't know anyone (and I know many players) who experienced it. But they all are pretty decent people who do not ruin other people's fun/experience by anti social behaviour (they keep that for wvw). 

With one exception: salty whispers in wvw. The people I run with actually enjoy them. It is seen as a badge of honour. You did well, the other one raged, now you have some fun reading their reactions.

I personally love to make screenshots of those.

Also people need to grow up. One angry mail, a couple of angry whispers is not harassment. It is inpolite (depending on circumstances) or badly worded critisim or in wvw/pvp salt. Harassment is NOT a mail saying 'you started the event before we were ready. We told in map chat not to do it. I whispered you not to do it. Don't do it again'. Harassment is not 'I got kicked out of squad because I refuse to join voice chat.' Harassment is not 'I got kicked out of squad for playing a class they do not want in their squad'.

Harassment is someone constantly mailing you, following you around to ruin events, insulting you in map chat. Hunting you in wvw every time you log in. 

[Charall.4710]

19 hours ago, VAHNeunzehnsechundsiebzig. said:

Harassment is someone constantly mailing you, following you around to ruin events, insulting you in map chat. Hunting you in wvw every time you log in. 

That's a lot more common than you may think.

Not really harassment per say but there is a version of that which exists on the forums, theres at least 2-3 people who are annoying and put the confused emoji on every post I make to be passive aggressive. I know who they are, their account names are on previous posts. But they do it anyways for the "kekw" value.

Edited March 20 by Charall.4710

[VAHNeunzehnsechundsiebzig.]

I would not call that harassment. Childish maybe. Or they really do disagree with you. *shrug*

[Linken.6345]

On 3/20/2024 at 5:29 AM, Charall.4710 said:

That's a lot more common than you may think.

Not really harassment per say but there is a version of that which exists on the forums, theres at least 2-3 people who are annoying and put the confused emoji on every post I make to be passive aggressive. I know who they are, their account names are on previous posts. But they do it anyways for the "kekw" value.

See it as a badge of honor that you have such impact on their life they have to press a emoji on every post you make like they got ocd