Sundoor.5630 Posted February 16, 2023 Share Posted February 16, 2023 The Latent Talent Well, no matter the rank, they truly belong to Platinum 3. AT LEAST. It's only the kitten matchmaking system that keeps assigning bronze-level potatohead teammates to them. Their true skill only manifests on those rare occasions when they are assigned to teams higher ranked than them, but then it really does... with a vengeance. Until the next round with the useless nubs again. The Mouser Apparently they have no keyboards, only a mouse, so they can log in, sign up for PVP, accept, choose an arena, but once there they cannot move or type. Truly sad indeed. Somebody please donate them keyboards! The Gladiator Who needs points when you can KILL?! Isn't that the point of PVP? It literally means Players Killing Players. They heavily favor duelist builds, run straight to far in the beginning curse you when you cannot win your 4v3 fight at mid, and will propagate their heroic 1v2, 1v3 etc. fights when the score is 480-300 in the opponent's favor. Prefers chasing and considers fighting on points a tactical disadvantage. The Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde The say hi. They politely tell you what build they have. Participate in discussing tactics. Then they will throw the nastiest things at your head on the first sign of weakness, or just because. Once a Dr. Jekyll turns into Mr. Hyde there is no turning back. The Hairtrigger Often a Dr. Jekyll, these people combust easier than kerosene... and will flame just as much. The moment you identify one, they have already gone ballistic it is already too late. The Strongest Link Obviously the weakest link is you. And you. And that guy over there. And that one is completely useless. Obviously. The Oracle They have a rare gift of predicting the outcome of matches with a very high degree of probability very early on, usually after the first fight. Once The Sight tells them how the match will go, all they have to do is sit back and let Fate do the rest. The Renegade They are the wronged. They are on no one's side, because no one is on their side. They are the loners people only mention in whispers. Don't be happy if you see one in the opponent team. He will come for you next. The Obsessive Close Disorder I go close. No I go close. You kitten useless kitten motherkitten I am going close idc. They usually come in pairs. They go to close paired too. 1 18 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
apharma.3741 Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 (edited) In a node far far away I go far, don't go far, cap other nodes. Do not help me. Team why are you losing the other 2 nodes when I have far??? A variant of the gladiator, the far node is their home, it is what they live and usually die for. Edited February 17, 2023 by apharma.3741 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazsi.2734 Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 15 hours ago, Sundoor.5630 said: The Oracle They have a rare gift of predicting the outcome of matches with a very high degree of probability very early on, usually after the first fight. Once The Sight tells them how the match will go, all they have to do is sit back and let Fate do the rest. This sounds like me but weaker. I can often hear the whispers 5-10 seconds after loading in. They tell me of the future, they show me account names of people I know, they reveal to me how I am a "fill in" to counterweight the enemy plat3+ premade... and so I know. And we lose, just as it was foretold. The whispers are rarely (if ever) wrong. I read. I know the future. I am powerful. My team loses. 2 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eugchriss.2046 Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 1 hour ago, Bazsi.2734 said: This sounds like me but weaker. I can often hear the whispers 5-10 seconds after loading in. They tell me of the future, they show me account names of people I know, they reveal to me how I am a "fill in" to counterweight the enemy plat3+ premade... and so I know. And we lose, just as it was foretold. The whispers are rarely (if ever) wrong. I read. I know the future. I am powerful. My team loses. Plot twist: The picture in your bio is not the DE symbol but seijuro akashi emperor's eye. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waffles.5632 Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 I'm definitely the mouser because I still mouse click my F3 shatter. 😭 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vancho.8750 Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 I think this is missing a few THE E-PEENER OF A DYING GAME Doing everything to game the game in any way possible, probably one of the reasons why the game is dying. Everyone can tell all they do is meaningless cause they ruined it for everyone but for some unknow reason they continue to do it. THE DEADWAIGHT Its whole existence is to drag you down to a loss, is it wintrader, is it a boosted noob, no one knows, you just know that you ain't getting that win. Usually this specimen has EGO to the heavens for no reason, usually branches from the authors descriptions in some way. If it is on the opposite team it will BM when the whole team kills you, if you roll em it will start whispering that you cheating or op or something of the sort. THE WHY AM I PLAYING THIS GAME ANYMORE All the nonsense going around can't be keeping people in, but why are you still playing, is it habit is it nostalgia, is it because there aren't any other games that work this way, so you just queue up play a game or two and log off and this might be the last match you play or maybe tomorrows, for many it was their last game. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hotride.2187 Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 You forgot the type that says others are bots. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crab Fear.8623 Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 The Scapegoat They are trying their best, doing what they can, but the game is a losing battle. When things go sour, we got to blame someone. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kuma.1503 Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 (edited) The S***lord Plays meme builds for fun. Gets extreme enjoyment out of tilting the enemy team with cheesy builds. The bigger the ego, the more satisfying the kill. Edited February 17, 2023 by Kuma.1503 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stand The Wall.6987 Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 6 minutes ago, Kuma.1503 said: The S***lord Plays meme builds for fun. Gets extreme enjoyment out of tilting the enemy team with cheesy builds. The bigger the ego, the more satisfying the kill. ah man i'm revealed. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundoor.5630 Posted February 17, 2023 Author Share Posted February 17, 2023 (edited) YOU ARE RIGHT! I even had the description in mind, just forgot to write down, let me make up for it: The Blade Runner They are naturals at performing Voight-Kampff tests on people in online games. They can spot a bot just by the way they are running. They excel at finding them in their own teams, but since friendly fire is not a feature of the game they cannot terminate the terminator. They will still try to throw some insults to see if they work as killphrases or override commands, usually to little avail. The Lame Chameleon These players excel at shape-shifting and do so literally after each balance patch. Not in the beginning of course, they have a cocooning period, but an update to Metabattle will prompt the imago to emerge in form of a new Build of the Month (well... 3 months). As they usually never have enough time to mature they are fazed why they keep losing while playing with the 'overpowered' build. Surely must be the teammates' fault. Edited February 17, 2023 by Sundoor.5630 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azure The Heartless.3261 Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 (edited) I like a couple:The Gremlin/Mascot Generally plays oneshot or gank builds that crumple immediately without support. Plays a short character, has a big mouth. Often a loose cannon. Either very happy or very mad, no in between Somehow able to very reliably orchestrate teams and effectively call targets/direct fights despite this, gets more effective with anger instead of playing sloppily. Probably belongs to an actual street gang Will always get opponent beast Would make a good thief, doesn't play thief The Soldier More map awareness than most geographers. Is addressing the objective so you don't have to Difficult to tilt Will post "Don't feed, regroup" in Team chat to stop staggers Visibly worried by strong players on the opposing team but proceeds to destroy them anyway. The Tactician "Bell in 30/Medi in 40" Player X is a pushover to "Y" Knows what person has rez utilities before the match starts, will call target on them the instant anyone goes down to prevent rez "Split map" "3 inc to mid, go far" while dead Is the reason that point you were thinking about going to is contested now Precasting on Tranqulity Is already killing the person that needs to die for you to rally when you down in the next 3 seconds Will throw the match by afking if anyone so much as looks in lamp's general direction The Pool Shark Plays a weird or non-meta build, that you'd normally associate with people not as interested in winning matches as people who copy-paste meta. Is actually immensely skilled at that non-meta build and more interested in winning than you'd imagine, will put out concerning levels of damage with nerfed weapons or professions. They read your book 3 years ago and have the limited edition with the hard cover sitting on their shelf. You should not have started this fight. Doesn't say anything, or speaks very little and is always polite when they do speak/uses full punctuation. Probably worryingly good at Holosmith. Their presence on your team or on the opponent's team is an accurate predictor of how the match will go The Mechanic Prude Plays some manner of bunker build specifically designed not to lose engagements Will become visibly upset if you ignore them, abandon a fight that won't end or are also a bunker that they cannot whittle down over time. "Run more" > plays bunker chrono with no swiftness Has opinions about you LoSing and will let you know in IM every time you don't facetank damage, but can't build to stop you. Probably has a framed picture of the Stone Heart trait icon in their room Edited February 17, 2023 by Azure The Heartless.3261 1 2 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibson.4036 Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 15 minutes ago, Azure The Heartless.3261 said: Will throw the match by afking if anyone so much as looks in lamp's general direction Lots of funny in your post, but this one made me laugh out loud. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eugchriss.2046 Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 58 minutes ago, Azure The Heartless.3261 said: The Pool Shark Plays a weird or non-meta build, that you'd normally associate with people not as interested in winning matches as people who copy-paste meta. Is actually immensely skilled at that non-meta build and more interested in winning than you'd imagine, will put out concerning levels of damage with nerfed weapons or professions. They read your book 3 years ago and have the limited edition with the hard cover sitting on their shelf. You should not have started this fight. Doesn't say anything, or speaks very little and is always polite when they do speak/uses full punctuation. Probably worryingly good at Holosmith. Their presence on your team or on the opponent's team is an accurate predictor of how the match will go The most accurate for me so far 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crab Fear.8623 Posted February 17, 2023 Share Posted February 17, 2023 The Atlas This player believes they carry the world on their shoulders through the game of life. Winning is because of them, losing is everyone else's fault. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zuko.7132 Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 Bob The only player to never abandon Berserker. Rifle is love, rifle is life. He will gunflame his way into your heart. Laughs in the face of projectile block and reflects with his Mighty Signets. A beloved cornerstone of NA PvP. Whether Blue or Red gets tilted depends on how many gunflames land. Beware the vengeance. Bob doesn’t quit. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waffles.5632 Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 5 minutes ago, Zuko.7132 said: Bob The only player to never abandon Berserker. Rifle is love, rifle is life. He will gunflame his way into your heart. Laughs in the face of projectile block and reflects with his Mighty Signets. A beloved cornerstone of NA PvP. Whether Blue or Red gets tilted depends on how many gunflames land. Beware the vengeance. Bob doesn’t quit. I have been one shot by Bob before. 16k gunflame when I only had 15k hp. Can't even be mad though, gunflame is hilarious. 😭 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zuko.7132 Posted February 18, 2023 Share Posted February 18, 2023 2 minutes ago, Waffles.5632 said: I have been one shot by Bob before. 16k gunflame when I only had 15k hp. Can't even be mad though, gunflame is hilarious. 😭 I love it when this guy is in games, either on my side or the enemy team. It's just funny. Either Bob is instantly dead or you are. That man has definitely killed me while vengeanced. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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