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Does This Count As Abuse?


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I censored the name to avoid naming and shaming.

I also censored the save location on my computer for my own piece of mind.

 

But as you can see; this fellow was following me, then someone else, and saying 'hey baybee' and 'hey mahmee' and '/lick'. Which is creepy as hell. Imagine if he was doing it to some 13 year old.

So I reported them for chat abuse, but I want to make sure I won't get in trouble. Was this abuse?

 

Also, I can't find a way to link images, so here's the screenshot:
Was this abuse?

Edited by Akisohida.8963
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3 minutes ago, AgentMoore.9453 said:

It's an example of harassment, so yeah. Blocking and reporting them was the correct thing to do. That sort of behavior is gross and uncomfortable regardless of the target's age. Sorry you had to deal with that.

Thanks. 🙂
The bizarre thing is that they are 34-ish levels over max (they had a 34 or 37 next to a Mastery Point icon under their name).

So either they have been doing this for a LONG time, or they just decided to start being weird, or their account was stolen.

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26 minutes ago, Akisohida.8963 said:

So I reported them for chat abuse, but I want to make sure I won't get in trouble. Was this abuse?

You won't get in trouble for reporting someone, even if Anet decides they haven't done anything wrong.

You can get in trouble if you spam the report function or try to 'crowd source' reporting by asking everyone in the map or your guild or whatever to report someone. But as long as it looks like a sincere report you won't be in trouble.

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Maybe it was a guild member considering the guild tag. A lot of LGBT guilds are full of these kinds of jokes. 
Maybe the person just liked youre character and was trying to kind of roleplay. 
I've seen worse on tumblr actually regarding gw2. 
However you can just block the person, 

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On 3/9/2022 at 10:56 PM, Cynder.2509 said:

Maybe it was a guild member considering the guild tag. A lot of LGBT guilds are full of these kinds of jokes. 
Maybe the person just liked youre character and was trying to kind of roleplay. 
I've seen worse on tumblr actually regarding gw2. 
However you can just block the person, 

Umm...The guild channel is the guild I am in, and the color of the text shows they were not in the guild.

So basically, you just tried to pin the blame on people because of your own personal bias against them, so thanks for that.  🤦‍♂️

 

Not to mention roleplay does not include licking people and saying 'Hey baybee!' and 'Hey mamee!' like a creeper.
What if I had been 12 or 13  years old? And some possibly 20+ person is saying 'Hey baybee' and licking me? Or the other person he said it too?

 

The fact that you saw 'LGBT' in my char bar and immediately tried to pin it on them, then also tried to downplay it as 'Maybe they wanted to RP?' is really scummy.

Edited by Akisohida.8963
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42 minutes ago, Stalima.5490 said:

You do realise that you kinda have a duty to yourself to say, "please don't do that"...

You can't really complain about what people say to you if you don't tell them that you aren't ok with it, that is kinda the point in free speech after all.

No. That is not how things work or free speech at all.  Free speech does not mean you can just run around saying what ever without repercussions.   Free speech means one can state their opinions and ideas without fear of retaliation, censorship, or legal sanction from the government.    So yeah you can say what you want but if what you say is rude, crude, or out of line anyone in the private sector can call you out on it and punish you for it.    Games can suspend you or ban you for it and it has nothing to do with free speech.    And no, it isn't the responsibility of the person that is being verbally assaulted to say, "Please don't do that."   It is the responsibility of the player in question not to do so. 

So yes players that are rude, crude and insulting do need to be called out because their perception of  freedom of speech ends when it causes harm to another person. 

 

Edited by JustTrogdor.7892
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On 3/9/2022 at 3:05 PM, Akisohida.8963 said:

I censored the name to avoid naming and shaming.

I also censored the save location on my computer for my own piece of mind.

 

But as you can see; this fellow was following me, then someone else, and saying 'hey baybee' and 'hey mahmee' and '/lick'. Which is creepy as hell. Imagine if he was doing it to some 13 year old.

So I reported them for chat abuse, but I want to make sure I won't get in trouble. Was this abuse?

 

Also, I can't find a way to link images, so here's the screenshot:
Was this abuse?

Thank you for reporting this. We have teenagers in our guild and in one of the posts about the DE meta, someone mentioned that they play GW2 with their 8 year old. @JustTrogdor.7892 thanks for pointing out that free speech doesn't mean that you can say anything you want without consequences.

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1 hour ago, Stalima.5490 said:

You do realise that you kinda have a duty to yourself to say, "please don't do that"...

You can't really complain about what people say to you if you don't tell them that you aren't ok with it, that is kinda the point in free speech after all.

You don't have a duty to engage with trolls if you don't want to.  Free speech doesn't obligate you to go out of your comfort zone. In fact, telling someone how to use their free speech seems to me to go against free speech. 

I agree saying something to the guy and telling them to stop is what I'd do, but different people will react differently. Some people won't want to engage. You shouldn't be telling them it's their duty.  Why do you think you get to define people's duty?

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2 hours ago, Stalima.5490 said:

You do realise that you kinda have a duty to yourself to say, "please don't do that"...

You can't really complain about what people say to you if you don't tell them that you aren't ok with it, that is kinda the point in free speech after all.

Excuse me?

Free speech doesn't exist, as illustrated by the classic example of yelling fire in an airplane. Protected speech of certain kinds exists in some limited capacity when and where it is enforced to be allowed in the particular place we're talking about relevant to local laws and enforcement of them.

And protected speech is not supposed to empower random harassment. It is supposed to allow people a way to air grievances and call attention to problems without being punished for it.

Victim blaming is not a good look.

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2 hours ago, Stalima.5490 said:

Could you define what "bringing harm" to another person with words is, because to my knowledge, the only way to do this is to directly and consistantly harrass someone while completely ignoring any protests they may have.

Okay I'll play along for now, sigh...  Say for example someone is at a restaurant and a person comes up to them and starts making comments on their appearance that makes them uncomfortable.     It isn't the responsibility of the person being accosted to make it stop.  They should not have to say, "Please leave me alone," to get it to end.  

I have no idea of your background and not judging but perhaps you have never heard of victim blaming?

Quote

The study of victimology seeks to mitigate the prejudice against victims, and the perception that victims are in any way responsible for the actions of offenders.

 

Edited by JustTrogdor.7892
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1 hour ago, Stalima.5490 said:

actually, that is another right, you have the right to free speech and thus the right to object to things or you have the right to remain silent and not object to things, you are not obliged to complain about something if you do not want to out yourself

 

If you choose your right to remain silent then you should not really complain later to people about things that happened when you did not choose to express yourself by speaking freely.

There are social rules and ettiquette that are so broadly known, I don't have to tell people not to do them. Engaging people like that involves it's in risks, particularly in real life. If someone doesn't realize that that behavior is bad behavior, I doubt anything I say will make a difference. Yes, you can complain if people behave badly by the standards of the society we live in.  In a borderline case of someone making a sexual innuendo that's one thing. What's described here is something else.

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32 minutes ago, Stalima.5490 said:

It's clear that I won't get through to you guys with common sense so i will simply address the OP and leave it at that:

 

The simple answer is that if what you have shown is all, then no, there was no abuse, in the future however, you may want to actually question the person to figure out what is actually going on, maybe they will actually be abusive maybe they will be sensible, but the fact remains, you won't know unless you confront it directly.

This is terrible advice. If someone is at the point they are following around a random person saying weird stuff to them, they probably aren't acting rationally. And you really don't know if confronting them will help or not. Maybe saying go away will cause them to go away, maybe they'll take it as a sign they're getting the attention they want and harass you all the harder. Furthermore, if getting them to stop it does work they might then go do it to someone else.

There are times when it makes sense to talk things out. Confronting someone on your own who is targeting you specifically with repetitive weird behavior may make things worse. The danger of it is more so about in person than online, but still, some people can be obsessive even through online and will do repeated, targeted harassment on people that does real psychological damage.

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32 minutes ago, Labjax.2465 said:

This is terrible advice. If someone is at the point they are following around a random person saying weird stuff to them, they probably aren't acting rationally. And you really don't know if confronting them will help or not. Maybe saying go away will cause them to go away, maybe they'll take it as a sign they're getting the attention they want and harass you all the harder. Furthermore, if getting them to stop it does work they might then go do it to someone else.

There are times when it makes sense to talk things out. Confronting someone on your own who is targeting you specifically with repetitive weird behavior may make things worse. The danger of it is more so about in person than online, but still, some people can be obsessive even through online and will do repeated, targeted harassment on people that does real psychological damage.

Thank you for pointing out some basic truths that our victim blamers seem to be ignoring. I'm old enough to remember the 1950s when women were supposed to remain silent no matter what someone did to them. Being molested, abused, or raped was a shameful thing that was somehow the fault of the person it was done to. I remember the power of the women's consciousness raising groups of the 1960s when women began talking to each other and began realizing that no, being molested or raped was not something that only happened to shameful women who were somehow responsible for what happened to them. It was something that was being done to woman, after woman, after woman.

Raising awareness of sexual harassment and abuse has been a decades long struggle since those early consciousness raising groups. Some men have consistently fought against men being held accountable for such things. It was only in 2017 that the #MeToo movement began to gain enough ground to even begin holding some powerful men accountable for such things.

Even if someone is not consciously defending their own and other men's ability to sexual harass women, victim blaming is also ignoring other realities. Some people are too uncomfortable or intimidated to confront someone harassing them. Does that mean they deserve abuse? And Labjax pointed out another hard truth. Sometimes confronting someone will cause them to back off. Sometimes it will cause them to escalate. I tend to trust my own gut instincts in situations like that. So I'm not about to question someone else's instinctive response. Nor am I going to blame them for what happened while minimizing or ignoring the actions of the person harassing them.

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8 hours ago, Stalima.5490 said:

It's clear that I won't get through to you guys with common sense so i will simply address the OP and leave it at that:

 

The simple answer is that if what you have shown is all, then no, there was no abuse, in the future however, you may want to actually question the person to figure out what is actually going on, maybe they will actually be abusive maybe they will be sensible, but the fact remains, you won't know unless you confront it directly.

You can't get through to us because we don't agree with you. You're not right and we're not wrong.  You have an opinion. Others disagree with that opinion.  In an issue of behavior with a community the rules are often made by the community, or in this case Anet.  And I'm relatively certain Anet would see this guy's behavior as wrong.

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