Saddened

[Julischka Bean.7491]

I am here, tears in my eyes.

My mom lost her fight against dementia.  While I am glad she is finally free, I am hurting emotionally missing her.

This game has been a lifesaver for my emotional self.  So many times since her death I have wanted to just end it all.

When I start to feel those feelings wash over me, I jump into the happy, colorful game...and allow my ragged emotions to calm the heck down.

Grin...my way of saying "Begone Satan"

As a lot of you know, I have poor hand-eye coordination...which keeps me from doing a lot of things in this game like jumping puzzles.

This morning, around 4 AM Central, I sallied forth to get the weekly jumping puzzle done.

I have played this game since launch.  I know, for me, most jumping puzzles are almost impossible but there are always helpful mesmers providing sanity saving portals.

I found the jumping puzzle, saw two Commander tags, and asked if there were any portals...I was willing to tip grandly.

Crickets.

Then a very, very nice person, tried to guide me through the puzzle.

I tried following, but of course, I fell, and fell.

This person admitted I needed a portal, but when I asked to use a transport to friend things and come to them, well,

This person refused.  He/She Said the devs did not want people use portals and they want players to figure things out themselves!

I, I feel slapped across the face and stabbed in the chest and I am not being dramatic...or maybe I am, hard to tell in my state.

All I know is I am sitting here at the computer, tears pouring down my face, and hating myself for being so weak....

Please people, be kind to others asking for help

 Yes, there are some people out there who don't want to try, but there are also those who desperately need the help.

And, I will be ok.  I will even go back to that jumping puzzle....

-Lisa.

Lisa bounces back into her post.

 I did go back to the jump puzzle, close to 5:30 Central, and, this time, there was a beautiful soul there doing ports.  

I wanted to hug him/her 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

Edited November 27, 2023 by Julischka Bean.7491

[Ronin.4501]

I am very sorry for your loss.

You didn't mention which map the JP was on, but quite often the tags on the map "assisting" with the JP are simply parked at the end of the puzzle and afk. They're there so that you can join on their tag and use a Teleport to Friend to port to the end of the JP.

[RoseofGilead.8907]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. My dad passed away earlier this year. GW2 and WoW have been major sources of comfort for me since then. And I'm sorry you had such a sourpuss to deal with there. I'm sure they meant mostly well and were kind to help you do it yourself, but there's no need for that kind of attitude from them. I hope you continue to enjoy the game and that the holiday season is quiet and calming for you.

[Vayne.8563]

I'm sorry for your loss. Having had some experience with a family member with dementia, I know how hard it can be. Feel free to contact me in game if you're on a US server, I can portal to the vast majority of jumping puzzles. Don't let a single person define your experiences. There are always going to be a percentage of people who don't get it. That's their problem, not yours.

[Julischka Bean.7491]

12 hours ago, Ronin.4501 said:

I am very sorry for your loss.

You didn't mention which map the JP was on, but quite often the tags on the map "assisting" with the JP are simply parked at the end of the puzzle and afk. They're there so that you can join on their tag and use a Teleport to Friend to port to the end of the JP.

I did not know that!!!! 

I will try that next time 🙂

Thank you for responding 🙂

[Julischka Bean.7491]

12 hours ago, RoseofGilead.8907 said:

I'm so very sorry for your loss. My dad passed away earlier this year. GW2 and WoW have been major sources of comfort for me since then. And I'm sorry you had such a sourpuss to deal with there. I'm sure they meant mostly well and were kind to help you do it yourself, but there's no need for that kind of attitude from them. I hope you continue to enjoy the game and that the holiday season is quiet and calming for you.

Thank you and I am sorry about your dad. 

We know that our parents are free from their pain-filled bodies , but it is bloody hard to let them go.

What is helping me, abet slowly, is a memory I had when my husband died. 

It was my birthday, and my family was on the way to a baseball game in Dallas.

 I was idly looking out the window, when I saw someone is the car next to us who looked just like my husband.

That got me thinking.

Just like I was on my way to a baseball game, his soul was on a journey too.

I should...so hard, free him, and now mom, to do the spirit thing without worrying about me being sad

Life is a classroom.  We are put here with different coursework.

He graduated and I am still an undergrad  🙂

Mom graduated, and I am still learning 🙂

As far as the sourpuss goes, I am going to google the jump puzzle, and spend an afternoon with it. 

Jump fall, jump fall, jump fall 🙂

[Julischka Bean.7491]

12 hours ago, Vayne.8563 said:

I'm sorry for your loss. Having had some experience with a family member with dementia, I know how hard it can be. Feel free to contact me in game if you're on a US server, I can portal to the vast majority of jumping puzzles. Don't let a single person define your experiences. There are always going to be a percentage of people who don't get it. That's their problem, not yours.

Vayne, thank you for your offer.

When I wrote this post, I was not trying to be a baby or even a Karen, I was releasing poisonous grief which, if allowed to build...in my state of mind, I didn't want to think as to what might have happened...I was suicidal in my younger days, with the result I know how critical it can be to recognize and release such turbulent emotions...even if I don't want to.

One word, one smile at the right time, can make such a difference to another

 Yes, something as simple as a smile.

 

And yes, dementia is brutal.

I watched my happy talkative mom, start stuttering, then become unable to speak. 

Over 10 years time she lost the ability to feed herself, to dress herself,to use the bathroom, the woman who used to jog 10 miles a day could barely walk.

I was her 24 hour caretaker.

Hugs to you Vayne.

Edited November 28, 2023 by Julischka Bean.7491
More stuff to write

[Buran.3796]

   I'm sorry for your loss, and for the unfortunate interaction with that player. My latest interaction with a player near a jumping puzzle was very different: circa September I was trying to do the Chalice of Tears achievement to get the legendary trinket Aurora, and a mesmer saw me and asked me If I wanted help, since I was messing with the control points. I said "sure", and he/she teleported me to unlock the whole path, including the las tp to the chest. It was a lovely experince since it took like 8-10 minutes of his time, for entirely altruistic reasons. At the end I rewarded the mesmer with 50 gold coins, because it was not only kind and nice, but also saved me from struggling with the jumps for days/weeks (I was already familiarized with the final stages, and had the rewinder, but still I was in a loop due fails, you get the point). The mesmer was pleased, but I was even more.

   So, don't be bitter due a isolated rough interaction: is not the norm. Most people usually like giving a hand to other players.

[Rubi Bayer.8493]

@Julischka Bean.7491, I am so, so sorry for the loss of your mother. I'm glad that Tyria can be a bit of a refuge for you when you need it--please keep taking care of yourself!

For what it's worth, we have no issue with players working together to get through jumping puzzles in different ways, including offering guidance, teleport to friend, or mesmer portals. 

[Ashen.2907]

Please allow me to add my condolences to those offering them here. 

[Ashantara.8731]

Just stopping by to say that you are not the only one who has recently lost their mom to a severe illness.

My condolences, and don't take it to heart when someone is being a d-bag. The internet is full of people who show zero empathy. Luckily, there are good people out there, too. 🙂

[Lan Deathrider.5910]

No one can tell you how to deal with your grief. Take solace when, where, and how you can. I know that pain myself, so I feel with you.

One of my best friends mother has difficulty with JPs, also due to health issues. If the JP allows mounts, see if somebody will let you catch a ride. Some JPs can be cheesed with Skyscale from outside the no mount area, and you can use the mount skills that dismounts you safely to ground and/or gliding to get to the chest. Some tags hang out there afk with an open squad so that people can use TTF items to get to them. Many mesmers and thieves will port you in. Always check LFG to see if someone placed their 'squad' there so you can find a map instance more easily.

 

[Donari.5237]

My utter condolences.  My Mom has mild dementia now and zero mobility (stupid 2020 stroke) and we're about to shift her to hospice.  It's so hard.

I think you know from our past interactions that I am happy to help with things, though I am not fantastic at the harder jp's and completely rely on kind porters and open tags.  I believe you are on NA?  Please feel free to ping me in game for aid -- I may not always be immediately available but if I can drop what I'm doing, or finish it quickly, I will.

[gousgou.5438]

Very sorry for your loss. 😔

And don't worry about the JPs. We will continue porting you around (provided I can personally finish the kitten JPs, they are my true Nemesis).

[Phread.7506]

I too will add my condolences.  I lost my Mother whom I loved more than anything to breast kitten. I feel  you're pain.

AS to the jumping puzzles i'm right there with you.  A lifetime of auto mechanics has left me with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and arthritis so bad my fingers are actually bent and twisted.  No feeling left in my fingers has feeling keys and buttons impossible.  No flexability at all.  Add in 3 Cataract operations with the 3rd leaving me with blurred close up vision.  They had to redo it and blew the new lens selection.  I see double when I'm playing .  I have to stop and concentrate with every move to be able to see correctly.  I avoid them.  Only do one if it is required for some collection I'm working on.

Hang in there.  Life is good if you take the time to look.  This is a good place to loose yourself.  This game is very cathardic and helps me unwind from a day of stress. I wish you all the best, be well.

sorry I wnted to say kitten not kitten.  Won't let me change it

Edited December 13, 2023 by Phread.7506
wrong word

[SoftFootpaws.9134]

2 hours ago, Phread.7506 said:

I too will add my condolences.  I lost my Mother whom I loved more than anything to breast kitten. I feel  you're pain.

AS to the jumping puzzles i'm right there with you.  A lifetime of auto mechanics has left me with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and arthritis so bad my fingers are actually bent and twisted.  No feeling left in my fingers has feeling keys and buttons impossible.  No flexability at all.  Add in 3 Cataract operations with the 3rd leaving me with blurred close up vision.  They had to redo it and blew the new lens selection.  I see double when I'm playing .  I have to stop and concentrate with every move to be able to see correctly.  I avoid them.  Only do one if it is required for some collection I'm working on.

Hang in there.  Life is good if you take the time to look.  This is a good place to loose yourself.  This game is very cathardic and helps me unwind from a day of stress. I wish you all the best, be well.

sorry I wnted to say kitten not kitten.  Won't let me change it

the forum automatically censors all swear words to "kitten", and unfortunately the name of a certain illness is also used as an insult to others in gamer jargon.

Edited December 13, 2023 by SoftFootpaws.9134

[mercury ranique.2170]

On 11/27/2023 at 11:32 AM, Julischka Bean.7491 said:

He/She Said the devs did not want people use portals and they want players to figure things out themselves!

This person is totally out of line. I'm glad @Rubi Bayer.8493 stepped in to clear this up. This could also be considered a breach of article one of the code of conduct.

@Julischka Bean.7491: What this person was supposed to say is:
"I have a personal opinion that using teleports diminish the acomplishment of those who did it without help."

This person is entitled on a personal opinion. But making it look like a rule made by the devs is plain wrong in many many ways.

GW2 per design is made for cooperation. Not to combat each other in accomplishments and deeds ,but to work together and help each other to accomplish common goals.
Anyone may play it in any way they like. Acting like this is bad, unfriendly and borders on harassment.

My advice to you, ignore and move on. There are evil people in this world. a.k.a. Trolls. And as stated in Queensdale outside a cave: "Do not feed the trolls"

 

[Kaliwenda.3428]

Hi Julischka Bean,

I just saw this now and wanted to express my condolences about your mom.  I remember you posting about this at other times and know how complicated the feelings about a loss like this can be.

I don't know if you remember but you posted about her in a thread about the cuddly cat jade bot skin.  You said that you were caring for your mom and that having that cuddly cat was something that made you happy while you were playing.  I ended up getting that cat for myself and every time I see it I think of you and your mom.

Edited December 17, 2023 by Kaliwenda.3428

[Phread.7506]

Thank you Softfoot for the explanation.  I was not aware that the C word was a no-no. And OP keep your head up and keep on keepin on

[Biziut.3594]

@Julischka Bean.7491 Sorry for Your loss. A little late for advice, and don't even know if You'll be willing to give a try, but it might be something in case of worst JP scenario occuring for ye. (I mean having to do jp solo without a way to cheeze it with a mount). So, with thief, daredevil, You are able to wield a staff. Fifth skill of this staff called "Voult" I think, is a target aoe skill that makes Your thief jump on the spot You target. It saved me from having to do a risky jump more times than I can count. It's not perfect and won't cover all jumps, but it's safe to say that it will let you skip most of them. ^^

Take care of yourself, sending warmest hugs. ❤️

[KerryTT.4792]

Sorry for your loss. At times people lose track of the fact this is a game, and there can be more than one way to handle things. I am a proponent of cheesing jumping puzzles with mounts. Doing Grendich Gamble by using the Cow Catapult to get to the Moorwatch Tower Vista, then doing a springer launch and gliding to the tower is quite fun. 🙂 There are a few I do the old fashioned way, and yes, at times I do the Teleport to a Commander thing. 

[phaserBanks.7386]

I don't like jumping puzzles, but I've gotten through a couple by using the "Teleport to Friend" item and finding a post in LFG where I could use it to complete the jumping puzzle and get the chests I normally couldn't do. Timing of course is the key because the JP (in LFG) you want has to be available when you are so you'll have to be patient and probably do other events until then.